Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 87950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
“I’m taking Bart upstairs,” Adam said, focused on Ashley before turning to Matt and I. “Please leave my house and take your poison with you.”
“That’s right,” Matt scorned. “Run away, dickhole.”
Tears reddening her eyes, Ashley stood up. “Matty, stop this. Please.”
“You’ve changed, Ash,” Matt spat, disgust dripping from his voice. “The Ashley I used to know wouldn’t judge anyone.”
“I-I’m not judging.”
“But he is.” Matt pointed toward the door that Adam walked out of. “And you let him. It’s like you’re too fucking scared of him to stand up for yourself. Stand up for all the things you used to believe in. The things I loved about you.”
“I’m not scared of him. Adam’s good to me. He saved me.”
“Saved you? From what? A life of being a decent fucking person?”
“Calm down, Matt,” I cut in. My voice didn’t seem to register with him.
“You left me all on my own when you went off with the band!” Ashley yelled. “I had nobody!”
“You had my mom.”
“And she was great, I loved her, but she didn’t have much in common with a seventeen year old girl. You were my only friend and you left. I wouldn’t hear from you for months on end. Instead, I’d see you in magazines, partying and moving on, while I cried myself to sleep every night.”
“Ash,” Matt muttered, his tone softening with guilt.
“I tried to move on just like you did. I became depressed. Not just sad but really, truly low. I got mixed up with some bad people, made some bad decisions. You want to know how Adam and I met? He found me, stoned out of my eyeballs wearing next to nothing, on a bench outside his church group. He took me in, fed me, clothed me, and introduced me to people who became my closest friends.”
“My mom…she never said anything.”
“Because she didn’t know. I was good at hiding things, but I didn’t need to hide from Adam. He saw who I was underneath and showed me how to get her back.”
“But you’re not back. Condemning people who don’t live the way you choose to? That’s not my Ashley.”
“That Ashley was weak. She crumbled the second she was left alone. I didn’t realize until I met Adam that I would never be alone. I have God.”
“I’m sorry about what you went through, Ash. Truly, I am. If I’d have known, if you’d told me, I would’ve jumped on the first plane back from wherever I was. But I just can’t accept that as an excuse for living the way you do now. Only loving people who share your beliefs? Turning your back on people who are different from you? That’s so sad, Ashley, and so very fucking wrong.”
“I haven’t turned my back on anyone.”
“But you won’t defend them either. You say you were weak before, but I think you’re even weaker now.”
Sighing through her nose, Ashley looked down to the carpet. “I think you should leave now.”
“So what, we’re done?”
“I’m sorry, Matthew.”
“Matthew? You’ve never called me that.”
“I’ve tried to accept it. I’ve prayed for you every single day since-”
“I don’t need or want your fucking prayers. I’m not sick.”
Ignoring Matt, Ashley carried on spouting her crap. “But I can’t. The way you live? It’s not how it’s supposed to be. Soon enough you’ll be punished just like Alex. I love you too much to watch that happen to you.”
Holy shit. “Come on, Matt.” I tugged on his arm. “Let’s go.”
“That’s not love, Ash. That’s…that’s fucking twisted.”
“Matt,” I urged.
Again, he shrugged out of my grasp. “I feel sorry for you, Ashley,” he said, dropping his head. “And I feel sorry for your baby. He’s going to grow up never knowing how good it feels to love someone for who they truly are.”
“Get out,” Ashley barked, refusing eye contact with him. “Now.”
Scoffing without humor, Matt couldn’t even look at Ashley as he strode straight for the front door. When we got outside he bowled over, supporting his weight with his hands on his knees, and sighed. “How are you so calm right now?” he asked, straightening his back. “Maybe naïvely, I didn’t think people had those kind of bullshit, fucking hateful opinions these days. Especially not people I knew. Not my own fucking family.”
I shrugged. “I’ve dealt with similar reactions before.”
“You shouldn’t have to. This fucking God has got a lot to answer for.”
“You can’t blame their faith. Some people just attack things they don’t understand.”
“It’s my fault. If I’d never left…”
“No, Matt, you’re not responsible. Everyone chooses their own path in life. Despite what your ego tells you, you’re not God. You didn’t put her on that journey.”
“I wouldn’t want to be. He’s a judgmental asshole.”
“No. Adam and Ashley are judgmental assholes, hiding behind His name.”
Matt glanced at me, confusion shrouding his eyes. “I didn’t know you were religious.”