The Make Out Artist (Accidentally in Love #3) Read Online Sara Ney

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Funny, Romance, Sports Tags Authors: Series: Accidentally in Love Series by Sara Ney
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Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 86596 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
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No offense to this guy. I’m sure he’s a lovely, er…person.

But if she wants to have a conversation with him bad enough, she’ll grow a pair of lady balls and get to it. No more of this dicking around, as my childhood neighbor used to say.

Dicking around. Ha!

Smirking, I give Claire a nod as I skirt by, her mouth falling open at the audacity of my departure. The nerve of me!

I don’t look back as I take the stairs to my second-story office, dashing up them in record time and managing to balance my plate and not spill my water at the same time. A marvel.

Using my ass, I close the door, sighing with relief as I sink into my desk chair.

two

elias

The way that woman brushed off the other woman was genius.

Pure genius.

Or pure aggravation was more like it.

I could hear them as soon as I walked up for food, the pair of them sidling around the table, one ignoring the other, the blonde desperate for the brunette's help.

It became obvious they were talking about me.

“What am I supposed to do? Stare at the ceiling? He’s at the table.”

“Oh my god,” the blonde had groaned. “Lower your voice.”

“I thought you wanted to stalk to him. I mean talk. Talk to him.”

Stalk, not talk.

That almost made me laugh out loud, especially when I’d glanced up and caught sight of the blonde’s horrified expression.

This was a house party for the friend of a friend—I wasn’t here to pick up women, though any other night I’d be up for it if she was my type.

The thing is: I had a bet to win.

We were at the Super Bowl in one of the swanky suites I’d rented for the occasion, hosting a slew of my current clients and their partners, a few television executives and sponsors—it was a giant room. Lots of hob knobbing, rubbing elbows, shaking hands.

Ass kissing.

One of my football stars—Jack Jennings—was there because his team hadn’t made it to the big game, and he’d brought his new girlfriend, Penelope. A real sweetheart trying to spread love, she’s all about happiness and bliss and all that bullshit now that she and Jack found love for themselves.

The conversation turned to me, going something like this:

“You’re so domestic now.” I’d told Jack over a beer after he’d shown me the new, blindingly large emerald on Penelope’s finger he’d given her for Christmas. They’d also just bought a house and had moved in together, blah blah blah.

“I wasn’t domestic before?”

“No, before you were a hermit. I wouldn’t call that domestic.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being home all the time. I find nothing interesting about going out and partying and meeting random women.”

Little does he know how much fun it can be going out and partying and meeting random women.

Dude is missing out.

“I get it.” Not really, but whatever. “I get it. All I’m saying is, you’ll never see me tied down.”

“You know what we call boasting like that? Famous. Last. Words.”

“Ha.” I’d drunk from the amber bottle and stole a shrimp kabob from the server passing by. “Can you see me with a dog, a white picket fence, and a kid?”

This is where Penelope had piped up, inserting herself into the conversation as if we’d been friends for years.

That’s what I liked about her; she wasn’t loud or even that outgoing, but she was sweet and caring and only wanted the best for people.

“Do you know what they call men like you in romance novels?” Her eyes definitely sparkled with mischief.

“What?”

“A rake. You’ll make the best boyfriend when you’re reformed.” She’d taken a dainty nibble of the cake pop she’d been holding, and I watched her pink mouth chew and chew and chew. “Reformed rake.”

“You can’t compare me to anyone in your romance novels. It’s not the right time for me to be dating.”

“It’s never the right time.” Penn had nodded her head sagely. “If everyone waited for the right time, we’d be waiting around forever.”

“So wise.” Jack kissed her on the temple, pulling her close, not giving one damn about PDA. “But he’s right, babe. Elias, here, would make a shitty boyfriend.”

“Hey!” I remember replying. “I never said I would make a shitty boyfriend. I said I couldn’t be tied down.”

Jack glanced around the room. “Who’s trying to tie you down? I don’t see a line forming.”

“Screw you.” I laughed, looking down at Penelope. “How do you put up with him?”

“Easy. He’s my best friend.” The ring glitters and sparkles like nothing I’ve ever seen, especially beneath the overhead lights in this room.

I feign a gag. “Don’t say he’s your best friend so loud. You’ll make everyone jealous.”

“But not you?”

“No. Never me.”

Penelope wasn’t convinced. “The perfect girl will sweep you off your feet, Elias, and you won’t even know what hit you.”

“Sweep me off my feet? That’s not how that works.” Had I sounded disgusted? One-hundred percent yes. “If I was going to meet someone, I would have met her already.”


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