Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 68293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 341(@200wpm)___ 273(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 341(@200wpm)___ 273(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
“But I don’t want to be safe like that. Not if it means missing out on this. On you. You and Gus.” Wes’ eyes burned. “Have I messed it up too much? Have I lost you?”
“No. But Gus was right. I was pretty heartbroken, Wes. I thought you were just done. I thought you’d thrown us away.”
“Like Mason did,” Wes murmured.
And there was that. But not exactly.
“Different than Mason. Because Mason didn’t know what he was getting, and you did. And you seemed to like what you were getting.”
“I did! I do. I really, really do.”
Adam smiled.
“The thing is, if we’re together, it really is about me and Gus. It would be serious pretty fast, because I’m not going to have someone in Gus’ life that she could lose this easily.”
Wes winced. “When she was telling me off earlier, I was so ashamed. This eight-year-old knows how to ask for what she needs and be honest and I don’t. Obviously she gets that from you. So maybe...is it too much to ask that maybe you could help show me?”
It was exactly what Adam wanted to hear. Not empty assurances that Wes would never get scared again, or would be perfect from hereon out. But a request for help in becoming the kind of person that Adam needed, of his own volition.
“I could do that.”
Wes leaned in. He stroked Adam’s hair and Adam felt electricity dance on his skin.
“I missed you so much,” he said.
“I missed you too. I um. I told my dad he was a bad, selfish parent. On his birthday. Whoops.”
“You did? Whoa.”
“Yeah, and I know that’s because of you. Seeing the kind of parent you are to Gus showed me that I wasn’t delusional about my dad. So really, you’ve shown me how to be more honest already. Thank you.”
Wes pressed his forehead against Adam’s. He smelled like home.
“I’m proud of you,” Adam said.
He felt Wes shiver, then the arms he’d missed so dreadfully wrapped around him and pulled him close.
“I love you, Adam,” Wes said. “I really love you. And Gus. And I’m so damn sorry I was such a coward.”
Adam cupped his face.
“You weren’t a coward, baby. You got triggered and had a reaction to something you never fully dealt with. If it happens again, hopefully you’ll know that you can tell me.”
Wes nodded miserably.
“Hey, Wes?”
“Yeah?”
Adam looked into the beautiful, warm eyes of his brilliant, kind, generous, sweet weirdo.
“I love you too.”
Wes blinked, and his expression reminded Adam of Gus’ when they’d seen the magical glow of lights this evening.
“Thank you,” Wes said. “Thank you, thank you.”
He squeezed Adam so tight he almost couldn’t breathe, and it was the best breathlessness Adam had ever felt.
Held tight and secure in Wes’ arms, Adam felt brave.
“Do you wanna know a secret?” he whispered.
“Always,” Wes said immediately.
Adam took a deep breath.
“I think I’ve loved you almost from the start. And I want to be a family with you. Like, now. I just...”
But he didn’t have to explain anything, because Wes was holding him so tight and murmuring words of love into his hair.
Wes lifted him up and carried him like something in a swoony old movie, dropping him on the bed and moving over him, all heat and strength and intense care.
“Wes, I missed you so much.”
Wes tipped Adam’s head back and kissed him, and Adam could feel every bit of love and desire returned.
“Want everything with you,” Wes murmured.
With.
It was exactly what Adam wanted to hear, and he opened his arms, welcoming Wes home.
They held each other, snuggled under the covers, and Adam listened to Wes breathe. Listened to his heartbeat. Smelled his skin and his hair. Every now and then, their mouths would find each other in a kiss.
“I love you,” Adam said, pressing a kiss to Wes’ chin.
“I love you so much I can’t believe it,” Wes said.
“You can’t believe you love me?” Adam asked.
“I can’t believe you exist. I can’t believe how wonderful you are. And Gus. Can’t believe you want me. Can’t believe I’m not still hiding in my house. I can’t believe any of it.”
Adam didn’t try and stop the tears from coming this time. He just shrugged and let Wes kiss them away.
“Merry Christmas,” he said.
Then he sat up so fast he almost cracked Wes’ skull.
“Oh, no!” Adam said.
“What’s wrong?” Wes looked alarmed.
“I don’t have a present for you cuz you dumped me.”
He was genuinely forlorn. Wes snorted.
“I think the second half of that sentence excuses the first.”
“Oh. Right. Asshole,” he said, jokingly.
“I’m very sorry,” Wes said, not joking at all. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t have a present for you either. Or Gus. Wow, great start to this whole being a family thing, huh?”
All joking aside, Adam lay back down next to Wes. “Having you here for Christmas and every day after is the best gift I can possibly imagine.”