Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 117010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 585(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 585(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
Because of this, I’ve been battling my anger at my darling wife over this shit more in the last few days than ever before. The more I worry that he’s about to make a move against Ricci, the more I resent her for telling my kid that shit. Of course, she couldn’t have known that he’d study men like Sun Tzu and Niccolò Machiavelli, or that he’d have a code of honor not like our modern counterparts but like someone forged in the damn BC era when people’s honor meant something.
Still, she should never have told him, and I’m afraid there’s going to be some tension between her and me if anything happens to our son because of it. I’m sure she was still full of vengeance when she told him about her past and had all but forgotten it as time went on.
I’d gone out of my way after all to, if not erase her past, numb her to the effects of that night. I won’t ever say she had no right to her need for revenge, and in some ways, I can see why she’d told him, why she’d expected what she did by telling him. Ma would’ve done the same, no doubt. In theory, it sounds good. In practice, as a man who just wants to protect his son, it’s fucked.
And now she’s here, laughing, shopping, having a good time, not realizing that there’s a good chance this could all come crashing down in a day or two. How the fuck am I supposed to shield her from that shit when I don’t even know what type of shit it is? The boy gives me nothing.
I sicced Lance on his ass, but from his noncommittal shrug just now, he didn’t learn anything. On the other hand, he was with Gabe all afternoon and didn’t know that the kid had basically offed someone using someone else’s hands to do it halfway around the world while they enjoyed the sights or whatever it was they were doing at the time.
Look, I have no issue with my son offing people who deserve it. When my Poppy got hit all those years ago, I did what I had to do and will always do to protect me and mine. I get a kick out of the mind fuck games he seems to be so adept at playing with people as well, even though he kinda makes me nervous with how good he is at that shit.
I’m Machiavellian with my shit. You hit me; I hit you back end of story. Gabe is a whole different breed. I know enough to know that it messes with his head that he has part of Ricci in him. If I could, I would cut it out and replace it with the best of me, but I can’t, and his young mind and heart doesn’t seem able to separate the two, which I know but can’t address because we’re in that weird space where he’s not supposed to know that I know and so on and so on.
I want to go to him and tell him not to do anything without me. But how can I without letting him know that I know what his mother had shared with him? She’d meant that to stay between the two of them, and I dare not breach, but it’s tearing me up inside. He’s my boy, my son. I want to protect him. But he’s a man now, too, isn’t he? A man with his own convictions and ethics. How can I stand in the way of that?
* * *
GIANNA
* * *
There’s something going on with Gabriel. I think! I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s nothing he’s doing outright, just that feeling in my gut. No, it’s his eyes; there’s something in his eyes, though he’s good at keeping them hidden. Maybe I’m overthinking since no one else seems to have noticed anything off.
He’s been his usual self all day, nothing lacking in his care and protection of me. I’ve started checking for these little cues just here lately when I first had that gut feeling. I’ve been a little self-conscious, thinking that he was already suffering from burnout from having to deal with my family’s issues so early in our relationship. But somehow, I don’t see him as the type.
Nothing much seems to faze him, and he’s been nothing but considerate, compassionate, even loving towards me. I guess that feeling of distance growing between us could be my own insecurities. Now that the highs and lows of dealing with Becky and Victoria are at an end, I guess I’m feeling a bit adrift. I’ve never not had to deal with them and the trauma they inflicted.
I’m more aware now than ever that Gabriel only came into my life because of Victoria’s bullying, and that too is the only reason he’d moved me into his home. Not that I expected to stay there forever but knowing that it was coming to an end soon leaves me feeling like I’d already lost something special.