Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 115272 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115272 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
Or the times I’ve stood in the doorway to the room our children now share, watching from the shadows as he looks down at them with awe and gratitude. His love and easy acceptance of our children is one of the things that has helped soothe the rough edges left over from any resentment I once bore him.
His family, who could’ve ostracized me for the sin of keeping the children hidden, never once frowned upon my actions, and I know that I have Gabriel to thank for that. And now, here in the bosom of the ones who first took me in and sheltered me from my own personal hell, I’ve started to flourish once again. It’s a cliché, but it feels as if the pain of childbirth and the ensuing loneliness and fear of being a single mother to multiples have been erased from memory. Years of misery wiped away in a matter of days.
And I can never forget, the more I think of it, that Gabriel had gone above and beyond to make my life much easier, even as he was plotting his own end. At least I was able to pay him back in some small way, even if it was just by offering ideas and opinions and soliciting the help of others to help remove the burden from his shoulders.
I was surprised to find that where my anger against Gabriel had abated, my ire against Sofia had grown. I couldn’t understand why she’d done it. It’s only through talking to her, hearing her story told in her words, that I realized that she, too, was still suffering. I still can’t excuse away her actions, that’s because of the love I bear her son, but in some small way, I think I can understand.
I don’t believe for a second that she’d set out to harm her son, but her misguided sense of justice without understanding the person her son was could’ve caused a disaster. Her desire, fueled by anger and hate, had almost cost her her son. But how could you tell a woman who’d been brutalized that she had no right?
It was only as I looked at her plight through the eyes of the young girl she’d been that it came to me. Having endured my own hell though pale in comparison to what she’d been through, I leaned on my own understanding.
Of course, it made sense; in order to put out the fire that still burned in her, it would be best if she destroyed her enemy with her own hands. Though Gabriel hadn’t allowed me to go that far in my own quest for vengeance against Becky and Victoria, he’d let me play some part. Sofia never had that. So, in her mind, she was still and would always be the victim.
I have no doubt that Gabriel’s sense of loyalty and filial piety would’ve haunted him forever, and he’d have eventually found a way to go back to Sicily and finish what he started. And though he would’ve come back to the children and me, he wouldn’t have been the same sweet man I love; I’m sure of it because it would’ve killed a vital part of his soul.
So, instead of placing blame and pointing fingers, at night, when I lay in his arms while he slept peacefully beside me, his arms holding me close as if afraid I’d disappear in the night, I turned my mind to ways I could help him, ways to repay him for all that he’d done for me and wanted to do for his mother.
It broke my heart to learn that he’d hated himself so much. That he’d never seen himself the way I see him, the way everyone else sees him, and I hoped that the way the kids light up and run to him when he walks into the room, the way my eyes smile whenever I look at him, would help in some way to prove to him, that he’s so loved and worthy of it.
I knew as strong-willed as he is that there was no way to get him to see himself the way I see him, and so there would be no help coming from that quarter, so I once again turned my focus back to Sofia. I kept going there and turning back because she never struck me as the type to go that route, but for Gabriel, I knew I’d have to try,
How else would I have found the courage to confront her? To showcase her faults and call her out on the damage she’d done to her young son? I knew I couldn’t hold back, couldn’t shirk my responsibility, because I was fighting for the life of the man I loved.
Even had I held onto my anger, I would’ve still had enough love to fight for Gabriel because he’s worth it. And now that it’s all behind us, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life showing him how much. I wasn’t too sure about telling him what we’d done, but I knew there was no way around it. It’s not easy keeping things from in, and it was only a matter of time before he found out anyway since Sofia was set on telling Draco.