Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 123153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
“We were all mature at that age and I thought it would work out. Then Jace sort of suggested we kiss. You know, to see if it would even work out.
“It seemed like a good idea. I thought I had it figured out, so I kissed him, and all hell broke loose. From that kiss, my entire life changed. We’ve never been the same… it’s like we’re broken,” I say, this time staring into my own palms.
“But you guys have been together for years. Am I right?”
“Yeah, we have. And we just keep breaking down with time. I get what you mean about twenty-six years being a long time to wait for the love of your life.
“If… if I could walk my time line and find where I lost my way, I’d go back and fix so much. I don’t regret my love. I may have been naive in thinking I could have them both, but it was never out of lust.
“It was because I’m complete when I’m with them. We get each other. I’m my better self when I’m with them.
“I’m stronger, I think better, I laugh more, I love harder. I’m happy.”
Elijah places a hand on my shoulder and gives a gentle squeeze. I turn to look at him. He’s not looking at me in disgust or with shame or judgment. I still see that love.
“Let me tell you something I’ve learned. If we are broken, we can’t love anyone else. We take that brokenness into the relationship, and it becomes another person.
“None of you have healed from the past. I’m guessing that’s what’s causing your breakdown. I remember Jace and Gio as little boys. Jace has been through a lot. You have been through a lot. And by God, Gio has had the world on his shoulders almost all his life.
“Just because we are older doesn’t mean we are ready to perform as adults. Hear me out,” he says and lifts a hand when I go to cut him off.
“You kids were trained to be soldiers, but I don’t think you all were ever given a chance to become fully functioning adults. I’m sorry I didn’t catch on to that sooner to do something about it.”
I wipe a hand under my nose. He’s right. I may be forty-one, but some days I just want my mom and dad. I’ve been lost for years, trying to find my way.
“I think you’re right.” I shrug.
“Did you know I knew your mother first? I’m how she and Carl met. I watched the way she loved, and it was something magical.
“What I saw with her and with our friends in the poly community was the respect for everyone in the relationship. When a unit became one, they were unstoppable. I have hope for you.
“I know my battle. I’m fighting fear. Fear is the third person in my relationship. Once I overcome Gwen’s fear, I’ll have her heart completely.
“What’s in your way, Ny? How do you three become one?”
I suck in a deep breath. Tears spring to my eyes. “I don’t know. All I do know is that we’ve been leaving a trail of broken hearts. I think I’m too old to try to figure it out. It might be time for me to cut ties.”
“And be incomplete? That’s why I’m still fighting, why I’m still here in the middle of someone else’s fight because Gwen completes me and if I walk away… I won’t exist.”
He stands and leans in to kiss my forehead, then gives me a hug. “Be patient.”
I try not to sob. This is exactly how he’s been there for me all these years. How could he not know how great a father he’s been to us? I stand and wrap him in a tight embrace.
“Thanks, Dad. I love you. My dad has to be so proud of the job you’ve done. You’re a real friend and Lizzy and I could never repay you for your sacrifice. Just know I appreciate it and I believe Lizzy does too.”
“That means a lot coming from you,” he says and squeezes.
I release him. “Now, about this dating situation. I meant what I said. It’s time you start your life. Take Gwen out. You let me worry about Lizzy.”
“She’s coming out to the Turkey Drive with us tomorrow,” he says with a smile.
“Turkey Drive? Doesn’t sound like a date to me.”
“It’s sort of not.” His cheeks redden. “Gwen wants to see if the boys will recognize her. Maybe you should come. Gwen says Gio’s bringing you guys out of the shadows. It only makes sense. Lizzy is going.”
I stand, chewing on my lip. I haven’t had a real conversation with Gio in so long. Could I be missing something?
“Oh, by the way, a box came for you too.”
“For me? From where?”
“Gio. I placed it in your room. You sure I can’t fix you something to eat?”