Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 60933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
“Yes, she is,” I agreed.
“Hey, Boone,” Nash called out. “Come get a drink.”
Dad nodded and touched Mom’s back briefly before walking over to the adult refreshment table. I didn’t miss it, and my hands clenched in fists at my sides as he walked away.
“Honey, please,” Mom whispered. “Don’t do this.”
I shifted my glare from my father’s back to my mother, then immediately softened as I saw her pleading eyes. “He can’t be trusted, Mom.”
She sighed and reached out to take my hand. “That isn’t your decision to make. I’ve never stopped loving your father. Even when he… when it all happened. I couldn’t shut the love off. We share a history. We share you. That doesn’t just go away, son. He made a mistake, and I’ve forgiven him, but I won’t ever be able to forget it. That will always be something that changed me. Changed us. Things will never be the same. But he learned something from all of that. And we are getting older. Life goes faster every day.”
“But you don’t have to settle for him. You’re still young, Mom. You can have a life with someone who cherishes you.”
“But I want a life with someone I love. Someone I have loved the majority of my life. I want a life with your dad. I know you don’t understand it, and I can’t make you. But this is my choice. I fought it. I won’t lie to you. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to move on. But I couldn’t. He’s always going to be my one.”
Sighing in frustration, I ran a hand through my hair. How can she feel like this? Why? Why can’t she let him go and find a man who is worthy of her?
“Put yourself in my shoes. Twenty years from now, with the stress of life, work, and family all getting in the way of being a partner. Remembering to spend time together. To work on your marriage because you have too many other things getting in the way. You find out that the woman you’ve loved and built a life with has cheated on you. Could you stop loving her? Could you walk away and never look back?”
I opened my mouth to say that it wasn’t the same, but I stopped. Because I had no fucking idea what that was like. I hadn’t experienced that life yet. I stared at my mom and thought about Riley. The realization that nothing on this earth could make me stop loving her sank in. She couldn’t change that. No matter what she did to me, I couldn’t stop loving her and wanting her. I would forgive her for anything. It was something I didn’t understand about Nash. How he was staying away from Tallulah when it was clear he was empty inside. He needed her, so why couldn’t he forgive her?
I turned my head to look at my father, who was laughing at something Nash was saying. My dad seemed happy. It had been years since I’d seen him truly happy. He didn’t appear as uptight and stressed as I once remembered. His gaze moved to Mom, and there was a softness in his eyes as he looked at her.
Fuck.
Damn.
Shit.
I didn’t want to understand this. I didn’t want my mom hurt again. I didn’t trust that man, but what did I know? I was twenty-four years old. There was a diamond ring hidden under the seat of my truck and had been for six months. I wanted Riley forever, more than I wanted my next breath, but I hadn’t asked her to marry me. I’d had plenty of chances, but my fear of marriage had held me back. It was my dad’s fault I was so damn scared of it. When I knew Riley and Bryony should have my last name. That they were mine just as much as I was theirs. We were a family and yet I couldn’t bring myself to make it legal.
As I stood there thinking about Mom’s words and watching my parents look at each other as if they were twenty-four, I thought about them. They were why marriage scared the shit out of me. Deep down, I was terrified of hurting Riley, of becoming my father. I was scared of myself.
The fact is I’d lived through my mother’s pain. I had held her when she had cried. The devastation my father had caused was so deeply ingrained in me, there was no fucking way I’d ever do that to Riley. I could never want anyone but her. Even when the bills were past due, and the kids were all screaming, and I hadn’t gotten her to myself for weeks. I would just want her. Only her. Even if it was the moment I got to hold her in the morning before I left for work. It would just be her.