Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 145402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 727(@200wpm)___ 582(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 727(@200wpm)___ 582(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
He didn't want to think about the session but didn't want to think about the Foxes practicing without him, so he went through his messages instead. Most were from Nicky: idle comments about things he saw in New York, questions about Millport, and scattered demands that Neil stop ignoring him. At least four messages consisted only of exclamation points. Renee sent greetings twice and Allison once, in a group text on Christmas Day.
Kevin messaged Neil only once, on the day Neil went to Evermore. Neil had missed it by only a few minutes; it was time-stamped for Neil's boarding time. Neil read the eight-word message four times: "Jean will help you if you help him."
Neil had sorely disliked Jean the first several days, and Kevin's message wouldn't have done him any good then, but he understood in retrospect. Jean was privy to the ugly truth about the Moriyamas, as he'd been sold to Tetsuji years ago to settle a debt with the head of the family. Jean hated his lot in life, but he was past the point where he could even think of fighting back. He wasn't a rebel; he was a survivor. He did whatever it took to get through the day.
Oftentimes that meant looking after Neil. Jean stood unflinching guard while Riko tore Neil apart again and again, but he was always there to pull Neil back to his feet afterward. They were each other's partners on the Raven court, which meant their successes and failures directly impacted each other. Jean was a questionable ally at best but he was the only Raven who'd looked out for Neil. It was selfishness, not kindness, but it had been just enough to keep Neil alive.
Neil had survived and made it out of there. Kevin had escaped when his life crashed down around him. Jean was still there, keeping it together as best he could. Neil wondered what it cost him to watch them both leave: if he thought them fools for defying the master or if a quiet part of him was jealous that they had a way out. Neil wondered if he cared. It was safer and smarter not to. If Jean wasn't willing to fight back, if he had nothing to fight for, there was nothing anyone could do for him.
A stray memory tugged at his thoughts, just out of reach. Neil tried to focus on it, but thinking about Jean had his mind spiraling back to Riko's abuse. Neil brushed it all aside and skipped through the rest of his messages. Dan and Matt had checked in several times. Aaron's single message was the last one anyone sent to Neil before the exchange of New Year's greetings.
"Don't tell Andrew about Katelyn," it said.
Katelyn and Aaron had sneaked around most of fall semester, avoiding each other at games and meeting up at the library between classes. Once Andrew was committed Katelyn had become a permanent fixture in their lives, having dinner with Aaron several nights a week and dropping by the dorm occasionally. It was strange thinking they were reverting to secrecy and Neil idly wondered how Katelyn had reacted to the decision. Maybe Aaron told her how much Andrew disliked her. She might not be happy, but at least she was alive and safe.
The click of a door distracted him from his thoughts. Neil glanced at the time and closed his messages. Reluctance, more than pain, made him slow to get to his feet when Aaron returned. Betsy followed Aaron to the entryway and greeted Neil with a warm smile.
"Hello, Neil."
He followed her down the hall to her office and went past her to enter it first. The room looked the same as it had in August, from the perfectly-angled cushions on her couch to the crystal figurines lining her shelves. He sat on the couch and watched as Betsy closed the door behind her. She took a moment to mix some hot cocoa and looked over at him.
"I have some hot tea, if you would like. I remember you saying you don't like sweets."
"I'm fine."
Betsy sat opposite him. "It's been a while. How have you been doing?"
"The Foxes made spring championships, Andrew is back and sober, and I'm still starting striker," Neil said. "I don't have any complaints yet."
"Congratulations on qualifying, by the way," Betsy said. "I confess I don't understand much about sports, but you have very talented players on your team and your comeback last year was nothing short of brilliant. I think you're going to have an amazing run. Texas is a little far for me to travel, but I'll cheer you on for the home game against Belmonte. Are you ready?"
"No," Neil said, "but we'll get there. We don't have a choice. Last month we said we weren't going to lose a single spring game. We haven't changed our minds, but I think now that January's here we're realizing what we're up against and what it'll take to pull this off. We're going to face the best in the country, and we're only recent contenders."
"That's a mature way to look at it. It is also," Betsy spread her hands a bit as she searched for words, "very practiced. It sounds more like a soundbite you would give to a reporter than something you might admit to me. I hoped we might progress past such guarded statements. Remember that I am not here to cast judgment on anything you say."
"I remember," Neil said, and left it at that.
Betsy inclined her head and moved on. "You mentioned Andrew's return as a positive thing. I know you supported my decision to commit him last November. It is probably too soon to tell, but how are you handling the reality of his sobriety? Any concerns?"
"I'm not going to talk about Andrew with you."
"I'm trying to talk about you," Betsy said. "This session is about you."
"This isn't a real session," Neil said. "It's an informal meeting and I'm only here because Coach said we had to come see you once a semester. Neither of us benefits. You're wasting time on me that would be better spent with your actual patients and I'm missing out on practice."