Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 145402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 727(@200wpm)___ 582(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 727(@200wpm)___ 582(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
"This is important."
"To whom?" Andrew asked as he sank into the second beanbag chair. "It doesn't change our season and Riko is too stupid to harvest pity points. So who cares?"
Neil opened his mouth to argue and found he didn't have a good answer. Andrew pointed at him as if Neil's silence proved his point, and Neil shut his mouth again without a word. Andrew shifted around a bit until he was more comfortable and closed his eyes. Neil looked from him to the darkened screen, then turned on his side on his lumpy chair so he was facing Andrew. Andrew cracked open an eye at the noise but closed it when Neil settled down. Neil contented himself with watching Andrew instead.
Andrew wasn't looking, but maybe he felt the weight of Neil's stare, because after a couple minutes he said, "Problem?"
"No," Neil said, but even he heard the lie in it. "Andrew? Last summer you made me a promise. I'm asking you to break it."
"No," Andrew said without hesitation.
"You said you'd stick with me if I kept Kevin south, but Kevin doesn't need me anymore. He chose us over the Ravens because as a whole we're finally worth his time. There's nothing else I can give you in exchange for your protection."
"I will think of something."
"I don't want you to," Neil said. "I need you to let me go."
"Give me one good reason," Andrew said.
"If I'm hiding behind you I'm still running," Neil said. "I don't want to end the year like this. I want to stand on my own two feet. Let me do that. None of this means anything if I don't."
Andrew stared at him in silence. Neil didn't know if he was weighing the truth of Neil's words or silently rejecting them. He wanted to push Andrew for a solid answer but knew it'd backfire. Andrew took his promises and his word too seriously. Convincing him to renege was going to take more than one attempt and if Neil pushed too hard Andrew would know something was wrong. Neil closed his eyes and scrunched deeper in the beanbag chair. He hoped Andrew would read it as his willingness to wait for a decision.
The dorm room was comfortably quiet. Kevin and Nicky had slept through the messages, so the only real noise was the quiet gurgle of the coffee maker. It beeped when it finished brewing the pot. Neil considered getting up for a mug and decided it could wait another minute.
He didn't mean to doze off, but the next thing he knew he was jolting awake to the sound of Nicky's alarm clock. The obnoxious beeping went on forever before Nicky finally stirred enough to cut it off. Bedsprings creaked as Nicky rolled over, and the room went quiet again. Neil looked to the clock over the TV, which put the time at half-past nine. It was definitely time to get up if he wanted to have a normal schedule today, but Neil was comfortable.
Andrew was still curled up in the other chair, but the noise had woken him as well. He met Neil's bleary-eyed stare a moment before going back to sleep. It was implicit permission to keep being lazy, so Neil closed his eyes and drifted off again.
-
The week leading up to Nevada's match was an exhausting blur, but Neil loved almost every moment of it. Mornings were practices with his teammates, his days were wasted on the necessary evil called school, and his afternoons were spent at the court. The Foxes no longer looked askance at him for walking laps with the goalkeepers on break. After dinner with the upperclassmen Neil and Kevin headed back to the stadium for drills.
It was the routine he was used to, with one critical addition. Neil went back to the dorm with Kevin and went down the hall as if going to his own room, but as soon as the door closed behind Kevin he made an about-face and went back to the stairwell. Andrew was waiting for him on the rooftop, usually with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle at his knee. The nights were still cool enough to warrant jackets but Andrew's body heat burned most of the chill away.
They didn't talk at night, maybe because they'd talked at practice or maybe because it was late and they were only stealing a few minutes before much-needed sleep, but night was where Neil had the most questions. They niggled at him when Andrew pinned him against chilly concrete and worked hot hands under his shirt. Being curious about Andrew wasn't anything new, but the gnawing importance of these answers was. Kissing Andrew changed things even if Neil knew it shouldn't.
He wanted to know where all of the lines were and why he was the exception. He wanted to know how Andrew was okay with this after everything he'd been through and how long it'd taken him to come to terms with his sexuality after Drake's abuse. Why and when and how only complicated things, because wondering about these developments made him wonder about everything else. He could have used their secrets game to justify prying, but Neil didn't want to fight for every piece and parcel. It would take too long and he was running out of safe things to trade. It was better to just keep his mouth shut and not think about it.
His control only lasted until Thursday. Renee's foster mother had just closed on a house, and it was all the upperclassmen could talk about at dinner. Renee wanted to go home and help her move that weekend. Matt was willing to get tickets for himself and Dan if she needed help. Neil didn't understand their enthusiasm until he remembered how sedentary their childhoods had been. Dan had lived in the same place for fifteen years and Matt stayed with his father until high school. Allison had summer and winter homes and traveled a lot with her parents, but she'd never actually moved.