Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 145402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 727(@200wpm)___ 582(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 727(@200wpm)___ 582(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
"Uh, you don't know," Roland said again, not a question anymore but a backpedal out of the conversation. "You know what, let's just forget I said anything. No, really," he said when Neil opened his mouth to argue. "Hey, here. Your drinks are done. I've gotta check on the rest of my customers."
He vanished before Neil could get more than a "What" out. Neil stared after him, but there were no answers here. He took the tray with unsteady hands and brought it back to the table. He wanted to send Kevin away, but Andrew would never let him get far without a guard. Luckily Kevin couldn't speak a word of German. Neil sat sideways in his chair, facing Andrew, and said,
"Why does Roland think you're tying me down?"
Andrew hesitated with his glass halfway to his mouth. He glanced down at Neil's hands where they were clenched on the edge of the seat between his knees. Neil didn't look to see if the angry lines were showing again. He couldn't take his eyes off Andrew's face. At length Andrew put his full shot back on the tray. He didn't let go of it completely but tapped his fingers on the rim in an uneven beat. It seemed an eternity before he finally dragged his stare up from Neil's hands to his face.
"Presumably he thinks you're as bad at following directions as he is," Andrew said. "Roland knows I don't like being touched."
"That doesn't answer my question."
"It is the answer," Andrew said. "Rephrase the question if you don't like it."
"I want to play another round," Neil said. "What's outside Coach's pay grade?"
Andrew shifted in his seat to face Neil and propped his elbow on the back of his chair. He cradled his face in his hand and considered Neil. He didn't look at all bothered by the sudden interrogation but that calm did nothing to ease the gnawing in Neil's stomach.
"When Coach signed us, he promised to stay out of our personal problems. He said the board paid him to be our coach, nothing more and nothing less."
That answer wasn't much better. Neil wasn't sure he should keep pushing, but if he didn't get the truth now he knew he never would. "I didn't think I was a personal problem. You hate me, remember?"
"Every inch of you," Andrew said. "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you."
The world tilted a little bit sideways. Neil dug his shoes harder into the floor so he wouldn't fall over. "You like me."
"I hate you," Andrew corrected him, but Neil barely heard him.
For a dizzying moment, he understood. He remembered Andrew's hand over his mouth in Exites as he backed out of their conversation. He thought of Andrew yielding to his prodding and holding him up when Neil needed him most. Andrew had called him interesting and dangerous and had given him keys to his house and car. He'd trusted Neil with Kevin because Kevin was important to both of them and he knew Neil wouldn't let him down.
Neil tried to piece it all together, but the more he pushed, the faster it fell apart. It didn't make sense. He didn't know what he was supposed to think. It could be a lie, but Neil knew it wasn't. Andrew was a lot of unpleasant things, but a pathological liar wasn't one of them. Honesty suited Andrew because he was an instigator at heart and his opinions were often unpopular.
It took Neil three tries to find his voice. "You never said anything."
"Why should I have?" Andrew lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Nothing will come of it."
"Nothing," Neil echoed.
"I am self-destructive, not stupid," Andrew said. "I know better."
There was nothing Neil could say except, "Okay," but it didn't sound okay and he didn't feel okay. What was Neil supposed to do with a truth like this? He was going to be dead in four months, five if he was lucky. He wasn't supposed to be this for anyone, Andrew least of all. Andrew said all year long—had said it to Neil's face just this week—that he didn't want anything. Neil shouldn't be the exception to that rule.
Andrew downed his shot and dropped the glass carelessly back on the tray. He pried his cigarette pack out of his back pocket on his way to his feet and flicked it open to check the contents.
Neil should let him leave unchallenged, but he said, "It's your turn."
Andrew shook a stick into his hand and propped it between his lips. The pack was safely tucked away again before he looked at Neil. "I do not have to take it now."
Neil stared after him long after he'd disappeared into the crowd. He didn't realize Kevin was saying his name until Kevin finally pushed his shoulder to get his attention. Neil jumped like he'd been shot and jerked his attention to Kevin. Whatever Kevin saw on Neil's face, it was enough to kill his curiosity. Kevin slowly closed his mouth, withdrew his hand, and went back to drinking.
It was an hour before Andrew made it back to them. He didn't say another word to them that night and Neil was happy to give him his space. Aaron and Nicky eventually returned, drunk and exhausted, and they left together. The cousins' house wasn't far, but there weren't enough beds for all five of them. Kevin took the couch, so Neil curled up in a chair with a spare blanket.
It was hours before he could stop thinking long enough to sleep.
CHAPTER FOUR
On Monday Kevin started up night practices again, but he refused to take Neil along. On Tuesday afternoon Abby reluctantly gave Neil her blessing to return to the court, so long as he didn't get too rough in the scrimmages. Neil barely stuck around long enough to hear the okay before going for his gear. The Foxes were already on the court, since Abby had shown up almost two hours late to practice, but Dan called a halt to drills as soon as Neil thumped on the door. She and Matt greeted Neil's arrival on court with triumphant whoops. Nicky clacked sticks with him on his way to Kevin's side.