Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 73330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 367(@200wpm)___ 293(@250wpm)___ 244(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 367(@200wpm)___ 293(@250wpm)___ 244(@300wpm)
She looks over at Dasher. “He’s still a little shit, even though he’s cute.”
“Yeah, but ya like him, just admit it already,” I tease. Wishing we had the courage to put our hearts on the line.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
FALLON
We continue down the trail, jingle bells jangling and I feel as if the elephant that’s been sitting on my back for the past twenty years, moved over a little.
“What are you thinking about?” Levi asks before I get too lost in my head.
“I’ve never shared that about my mom with anyone outside of my sister and dad,” I admit.
“How come?”
I shrug. “I guess it just seemed like a lot of emotional baggage to throw on someone. It’s always an awkward thing to bring up and people usually don’t know what to say or how to act. So I keep it to myself. Plus it’s always been so hard for me to articulate how I’ve felt over the years.”
“That makes sense.”
“Once my mom was gone and my sister moved out, my dad fell into depression and so did I. Neither of us talked about it and I guess we thought that if we ignored it, it’d disappear. The holidays were always a reminder of what we lost. I asked him if we could stop celebrating because it was too painful, so we pretended it didn’t exist. We should’ve gone to therapy but my dad is very stubborn when it comes to talking about his emotions or problems.”
“Sounds like you two have a lot in common,” Levi says with soft eyes, and I smile.
“I’m more like my dad than I like to admit sometimes. My sister is just like my mom.”
“I know you don’t need rescuing, Fallon, but damn I would if you’d let me.”
My heart flutters and I don’t know what to say. I touch the necklace that’s around my neck and he smiles. “My mom’s.”
He nods. “I figured it was.”
“I never take it off,” I tell him. “I’m always scared that if I do, I’ll lose it. My sister has one too and hasn’t taken it off since the day she got it.”
“So you don’t have to answer this question if you don’t want to, but has your sister canceled Christmas as well?”
I slowly exhale. “No, she has kids and loves Christmas as much as our mom did. While it took a lot for her to get there, she eventually came around. Her husband really helped her through everything. My dad eventually remarried when I was twenty-two and my stepmom pulled him out of his shell, too. Then there’s me. The single scrooge.”
“I can think of a few other names to add to that list,” he teases.
I laugh as snow falls on my eyelashes. “Scrooge. Grinch. Christmas Karen. I’ve been called them all over the years. But I guess if the name fits. I’m the only one who’s stuck living in the past.”
“I was going to say kind, beautiful, inspiring, strong .You’re not a hater because the happiness of it annoys you, it goes deeper than that, and I understand now. I’m sorry if I’m over the top.”
“Don’t apologize for being yourself, Levi. You’ve made me see things differently. Out of all the places in town, the scammers sent me to Mr. Holly Jolly’s house. Ironic, right?”
He chuckles. “It is, but I’ve been saying that since the beginning.”
“Do you think it's divine intervention or something?” I ask, as snow flurries surround us. The horses' hooves kick up the snow. Dasher doesn’t seem fazed as he looks around.
“Maybe it was guardian angels,” he says. I look up at the sky, wondering if my mom is somehow responsible. It’s a nice thought and makes me smile.
“Well, if that’s the case, mine sure do have a weird sense of humor.”
He chuckles. “I like to believe that everyone comes into my life for a reason—either as a lesson or long-term. Only the passing of time reveals that. Like Finn. We’ve been friends since we were kids. Majority of the women I dated were nothing more than a lesson.”
“And what did you learn?” I ask.
“If you have to chase someone for their attention, they aren't interested in you. Love has to go both ways for it to ultimately work out. It’s why I don’t waste people’s time if I don’t feel a connection.”
“That’s a nice perspective—learning a lesson. I’ve never thought about it that way.” My ex comes to mind, but I keep that to myself. I’ve already spilled enough of my heart today, even if he’s a great listener with zero judgment.
I glance at him at the same time he looks at me, and I smile but nervously turn my head. My body heats and I know it’s not from the blanket wrapped around me.
When the barn comes into view, I’m somewhat disappointed because I’m not ready for our time to end.