Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 74103 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74103 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
“I don’t know, Lex. He’s leaving, and I feel like every minute I spend with him now will make our goodbye harder,” my voice cracks at the end. Just the thought is adding to the ache in my chest, to the ever-expanding hole Cage left.
There is no Band-Aid, no special pill I can take to make me forget. Forgetting is the only way I’ll be able to move on from this.
“Jude hates seeing you like this, and I do too. Please, promise me that you’ll at least think about it. Even if all it does is bring you closure.”
I nod, but I know good and well there is no closure for us. Cage is in my soul, like a vine, he is wrapped around my organs, and deep in my veins.
There is no happiness for me without him.
“It gets better. I had to wait a long time for Jude to come along, and our love story was never conventional. The best kind of love never comes easy, it takes work and patience.”
I take in his words, play with them in my head, but I don’t let them get through all the way because that would mean hope, and I’m too scared to take on even a little of that.
“Thanks for the ride, Lex,” I tell him as he pulls up to the curb. I feel bad that my mood has been so sour, and all I’ve done for the last few days is cry, but I don’t know what else to do. I’ve got my bag and am out of the truck before Lex can say anything else.
Climbing the stairs up to my dorm room, I mentally prepare myself to face Amanda. Every step I take, more dread spreads through my body. I’m already suffering, and I know she is only going to drive in the knife deeper. Then twist it and rub some salt on the gaping wound.
How did my life become so miserable?
I suck in a deep breath and let a mask of indifference slide onto my face before I push the door open.
Glancing inside the room, I realize Amanda is gone. Not only gone for the day, I mean, gone. The whole side of her room is empty. Relief washes over my like water onto the shore.
Dragging my feet, I step inside and shut the door behind me. I’m so exhausted, all I want to do is fall into my bed, but I have a class to go to, and I already skipped one yesterday, so I have no option but to show up.
So instead of curling up into a ball on my mattress like I want to do. I just change into different clothes, grab my book bag, and head back out.
The first class I have drags on, seemingly never-ending. I take notes on autopilot, my pencil moving over the paper, leaving words behind, but none of them make sense in my head.
When Professor Marley finally dismisses us, I briefly play with the thought of going home. I decide against it. I’m on a scholarship, I can’t miss class after class.
Swinging my bag over my shoulder, I walk out of the classroom.
I barely make it into the hall when I see him. I freeze. Every muscle in my body turns to stone as I take in Cage’s huge frame casually leaning against the wall.
Our eyes meet, and he straightens up. There are dark shadows under his eyes as if he slept just as terrible as I have the last three nights.
The world falls away around us. Passing students are merely a distant blur, and their chatters are muted. Right now, there is only room for him and me in my head. No one else exists in this small space.
Only when my lungs start to burn, do I realize I was holding my breath. I force myself to suck in air, and the sudden intake of oxygen has my head swimming.
He takes a step toward me, and that’s when my limbs unfreeze. I’m not ready to face him. Not ready for goodbyes.
I need to get away.
Dropping my heavy bag on the spot, I twist around and start running down the hall. Nothing matters more to me than getting away from him because seeing him and not being able to touch, knowing he isn’t mine any longer. It kills me. Rips my heart in two.
I don’t stop running until I’m in my dorm. My legs hurt from the run, not used to that kind of exercise. I’m able to hold the tears at bay all the way up to my room, but as soon as I lock the door behind me, the floodgates open. A gut-wrenching sob rips from my chest as I throw myself onto my bed.
Why does it have to hurt so bad?
Turning on my side, I curl up in the fetal position and let it all out. All the disappointment, all the anger, all the pain.