Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 76840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Instead, Anneke found herself crying, remembering, and then crying again.
Why, why, why, why?
None of it made sense, but the pain inside of her also told Anneke that the whys no longer mattered. All that should matter was that he had done it, and there was no going back.
When she woke up for the second time, it was to hear Jaak’s voice outside the room.
She opened the door, and her brother said quietly, “Let’s go, Annie.”
Jaak’s eyes closed as his sister threw herself into his arms. He couldn’t remember the last time Anneke had done this, couldn’t remember ever seeing her in this much pain—-
God.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Anneke was an angel.
Anneke did no wrong.
So why the fuck did life let her hurt like this?
He felt her fingers clutch his shirt tightly. I hurt.
His eyes stung, and he said hoarsely, “I’m sorry, baby girl.” His arms tightened around her. “But we’re here for you now.”
MARCUS WAS WAITING at the end of the stairs when Jaak came down, his arm around his sister’s. His friend’s face was hard, but Marcus didn’t give a damn. He only had eyes for Anneke, and she looked too damn pale.
Dio.
What he would do to be the one to comfort her, to be with her, to love her.
As they started to walk past him, Marcus heard himself say, “I suppose you hate me now.” He said the words because he needed to hear her say it was so, said the words because he was laughably, pitifully, goddamn weak—-
So fucking weak that if Anneke didn’t say that she hated him, he would forget all about being selfless. If Anneke didn’t say that she hated him, he would fall on his knees and to hell with doing the right thing.
He would beg her. Kiss her feet. Do anything for her.
If Anneke didn’t hate him—-
But Jaak wasn’t letting his sister speak. Glaring murderously at his friend, Jaak turned to Anneke, saying harshly, “You don’t have to answer him.” But when his baby girl shook her head tiredly at him, he knew he had to let her face her own demons.
And so the Dutch billionaire forced himself to stay still as he watched his sister turn to her tormentor.
Their eyes met, and Marcus swallowed hard. Hate me. Love me. Hate me the way I hate my mother. Love me the way I don’t deserve to be loved. His thoughts were as chaotic as the rest of him was.
His fists clenched as he watched Anneke struggle to speak, her face pale, her lips trembling.
Hate me, Marcus thought rawly, so I know I did the right thing.
Hate me so I know you’re as weak as I am, and being with me would destroy you.
Hate me.
He willed her to say the words.
He needed her to say the words.
But she didn’t.
“I should hate you,” Anneke whispered tonelessly, “but I don’t.”
Instead, she gave him what he wanted – and would never deserve.
“Because I still love you.” A painful smile touched her lips. “I still love you, and I d-don’t know why.”
Marcus whitened.
“Goodbye, Marcus.”
He watched Anneke and Jaak walk away.
I still love you.
She should have hated him, but she didn’t.
I still love you.
And even if she didn’t hate him, why let him know?
Why take the kind of risk the way he could never take a risk with her?
I still love you.
I still love you.
I still love you.
He watched Jaak and Anneke step out of the front door.
I still love you.
And Marcus suddenly couldn’t stop moving fast enough.
“Anneke!”
Panic was burning in his throat, making his voice hoarse.
“Anneke, wait—-” And when she spun around, he said jerkily, “I’m sorry.”
Her already pale face whitened even more, and the sight of it killed him. He knew she was thinking he was being an asshole, playing fast and loose with her feelings, acting hot and cold with her like she had no heart to crush.
He knew. Yes, he goddamn knew he was hurting her, but he also knew—-
He had to do this.
Because...she hadn’t broken the way he had.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated doggedly. And this time, Marcus held on to her gaze despite knowing he was acting even worse – even more despicably selfish than his father. “I made a mistake. I’m sorry. So can we talk? Please?” He was choking and babbling like a goddamn kid, an idiot, but he didn’t give a damn. He only knew he had to keep her from leaving.
Anneke was staring at him in painful confusion. “I d-don’t understand.”
“Then stay,” he said fiercely, “and let me explain.” He reached for her—-
But she stumbled back so quickly it was as if his touch would destroy her, and fear clawed at his heart.
Please let it not be too late.
“Stop messing with me.” Anneke’s words spilled out in a jerky, tear-clogged tone, and the sound had fear turning into terror inside of him.