Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 113142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 566(@200wpm)___ 453(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 566(@200wpm)___ 453(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
I counted to ten before I spoke.
“I do. I want to move on to a different life with you. I’ve been away a lot—way more than I wanted to be gone. I know you’re still mourning Elena, and without her here or Emma around, you’re lonely.” I also knew her parents still made things difficult for her every chance they had. “I hate being away from you as much as you hate me going. But I gave Sean my word, and I will follow through on it. I owe him that.”
“What about what you owe me?”
Her words threw me. Her entire demeanor was wrong. Everything about this was wrong. We were both tired, stressed, and on edge. We hadn’t made love when we went to bed last night, an unusual occurrence, both of us silent and still, an invisible barrier keeping us apart. I didn’t understand what had brought this on. Had she reached the end of her rope? Was this grief talking? Had Sarah managed to plant a seed of doubt when they’d had lunch the day before?
“What did your mother say to you yesterday?” I demanded.
“Nothing.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Now who’s lying? She must have said something to make you act like this.”
“Stop blaming my mother for everything. This is about you leaving, not her stupid remarks!”
“Bullshit. I think one has a lot to do with the other. She knows exactly how to get to you.” I tossed a lens into my bag. “Stay busy while I’m gone. Go see Emma. Avoid your mother.”
“Right. Emma’s not been available, in case you haven’t noticed that either. She couldn’t even come for the funeral. She’s been sick and busy, so I’m not going to bother her.” She tossed her hair. “Maybe I’ll have coffee with Bradley. At least he’s around.”
I tightened my hand on my case. I knew they occasionally bumped into each other; she had never hidden the fact. She was always upfront and honest. I knew she was goading me now, because she had never taken him up on his coffee invitations.
“That’s low,” I seethed, now really pissed. “Are you fucking trying to hurt me? Or do you really want to start a war here?”
She shrugged, the action dismissive. “No. It’s just coffee.” She glared at me. “You don’t own me, Adam. I can have coffee with a friend. Or do you not trust me?”
“Of course I do. It’s him I don’t trust.”
“If I thought he was going to do something, I wouldn’t see him. He’s just a friend. Stop acting like I can’t look after myself.”
“Yeah,” I spat. “You’ve done a great job of that so far.”
Her eyes widened, and she held up her hands. “Wow. I think we need to stop before this gets even uglier. You need to pack. Your plane leaves in a few hours. Can’t have you missing that,” she added, then started to walk away, but I grabbed her arm.
“Don’t ask me to leave without us resolving this. I don’t want to go knowing you’re angry and upset.”
And planning on spending time with Bradley.
“And I don’t want you to go. I guess neither one of us is going to get what we want.”
My anger reached its limits, and I shouted. “What do you want from me, Ally? I’m fucking being pulled in every direction here! I don’t want to go, but I have to because I promised Sean I would. There’s an entire crew waiting for me. I have obligations!”
“Fuck your obligations!” she hissed, shaking my hand off her arm.
“Fuck my obligations?” I snarled back to her. I pulled my hands through my hair in vexation. “You’re one to talk. You know all about obligations, Alexandra. You let them rule your life,” I yelled. “At least mine are ones I willingly agreed to, not something I do out of misdirected guilt!”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. She stepped back as if I had slapped her. I reached out, yanking her to my chest. She fought against me, but I refused to let her go. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean that. I can’t do this with you. Not right now. I have to go. I need to know you understand, and when I come back, that’s it. I won’t leave you again.” I held her tighter. “Tell me you know that, please.”
Sadness saturated her statement. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep doing this anymore.”
My heart hammered in my chest at her words. It felt as if she was giving up on us.
“Don’t do this to me, to us,” I pleaded. “I can’t leave you like this.”
She pulled back. “But you’ll leave me anyway.”
“And you’ll see Bradley.”
“Not to get back at you. As a friend. Just a friend I can visit with so I’m not alone all the time.”