Total pages in book: 244
Estimated words: 236705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1184(@200wpm)___ 947(@250wpm)___ 789(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 236705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1184(@200wpm)___ 947(@250wpm)___ 789(@300wpm)
I laugh without humor. “You seriously think there’s something between Christian Laird and me?”
He doesn’t look amused. “Is there? You seemed a little awkward when you saw him,” Jude says, careful with each word, like he’s trying hard not to lash out like he did in the beach house.
That’s a welcome change, and it gives me some peace of mind to answer with the full truth.
“He’s just a friend. If you picked up on anything awkward, it’s that it bothers me to have to lie to the people in my life. I had to lie to my barber earlier in the week and that bugged me too. Christian is a work friend, and we’ve hit the gym a couple times, and I hate putting on this show for everyone when you and I aren’t really dating. We’re not really boyfriends,” I say.
He nods resolutely. “We’re not.”
On that pathetic note, I need another drink. I reach for the bottle, pour a third shot, but as I stare at the liquid, what’s the point? I don’t lift the glass. Turns out I don’t need any more liquid courage to say what’s on my mind. I’ve already served up my guts to Jude tonight. Might as well give him the rest of the truth. From my spot in the kitchen, I meet his gaze. “Besides, it’d be impossible for me to be with someone.”
“Why?” Jude asks, desperate.
“How do you not fucking know, Jude?” I snap. “How do you really not know?”
He spreads out his arms. “What should I know?”
“You said it in the car yesterday. My breath hitches when I’m near you. When you touch me, I shudder. You get close to me, and I’m fucking gone. You did a number on me, Jude Fox. I haven’t been with Christian or anyone.”
There. I’ve spelled it out with indelible ink—I’m not over you.
His eyes flicker with a sort of surreal delight. Then he grabs his phone, clicks on a text exchange, and thrusts it at me, showing me something he wrote to William.
I’ll help find a center. Just say the word.
My jaw drops. “What is this?”
He sets down his phone, circles the counter, stalks into the kitchen. “This is why I was talking to William tonight. He called, and I care about him as a friend. When I was in LA recently, he was spiraling. I tried to help him by paying his minibar bill and getting him out of the hotel safely after he’d been asked to leave. I took him home, and I’ve been trying, fucking trying, to get him help. He kissed me on the cheek, and the press got the photo, and here I am, in the middle of this terrible press thing with this guy we both know who’s spiraling into addiction, and still I want to help him. He’s our friend, and I never was involved with him at all.”
I’m a heel.
I’ve officially overreacted.
My heart lurches toward Jude. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I thought you were. I’m sorry I’ve been an ass about it,” I say, and I hope he believes me. “I’ve been such a wreck.”
He drags a hand through his hair, tousling it. It’s a good look. Sexy and annoyed and devastating. “How could I be involved with him, TJ? How could I be involved with anyone? I was hung up on you.”
What?
There’s no way he said that. No way at all. “What do you mean?” I whisper, swallowing roughly, hope knotting my throat.
From his spot a few feet away, he crosses his arms. “I was a mess about you, TJ. I haven’t been with anyone since we split.”
Those words are my kindling. They fan all my flames. I dart out a hand, grab the open V of his shirt, yank the man close to me. “I’ve been completely fucked up over you.”
Jude doesn’t smile.
He doesn’t give me a come-hither look. He just hisses out, “Join the club.”
So I do.
14
DON’T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY
TJ
The second our lips touch, sparks fly everywhere, like a blowtorch. The air sizzles between us, crackling and snapping as I devour Jude’s mouth in the most intense, passionate kiss this city has ever known.
It’s explosive, a collision of emotions, want, and pain. We pour nearly a year’s worth of anguish into each other. That’s a lot to ask of a kiss, but this one delivers.
With every flick of my tongue, I try to repair the hurt. As I devour his mouth, I want to show Jude he’s the only guy I ever think of. Jude crushes his lips to mine, telling me things too—that he meant every word he said tonight.
I finally, fucking finally, believe him about William.
It’s not because of the texts he showed me.
It’s not because of the things he said.
It’s not even because of the way we slam into each other.