Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78007 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78007 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
He shrugs as if it’s not a big deal. “You might have missed something.”
“What happened?”
“I was just feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. I couldn’t sleep, and logged in to my school account and saw I failed my quiz.”
Fuck. I was hoping that wouldn’t happen. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too, but it is what it is. It led somewhere good, though. I went outside, and Mom was there. I told her about you, and she said all she wants is for me to be happy. That gave me the courage to talk to her about the rest of it, and she took that well too. She said she could never be disappointed in me, that she’ll support me no matter what. Like I said before, I was tested for learning disabilities when I was younger, and nothing came up. I don’t know if that can change, or maybe I just learn differently. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I feel like so much weight has melted off my shoulders already just by being open with them and not being alone.”
My chest expands with pride for him. Theo is so fucking bighearted and brave, and most of the time, I don’t think he even sees it. The way he let himself acknowledge his attraction for me was brave. The way he told his friends and his family. How he willingly admitted his school troubles to me right away—without me accidentally seeing something like what happened when I admitted I like tech. Hell, if he hadn’t seen it, would I have ever told him? Would he still not know?
And when he realized his feelings for me were changing, that he wanted more than friends with benefits, he didn’t run away from that either.
Theo is always thinking of others. He wants to make people happy and to make them proud, but he’s also learning how to advocate for himself, to reach for his own happiness because no one else can do that for us, and damned if I don’t want to be more like him.
“You’re really fucking amazing. Do you know that? I’m so proud of you.”
He cocks his head, looking at me, his eyes wide with confusion before he turns back to the road. “You make me feel amazing…and I never felt that before you. I wouldn’t have had the guts for any of this if it wasn’t for you. If I’m amazing, it’s because you are.”
I’ve spent my whole life believing I felt confident, ignoring my worry that people might not want me…not if my own father didn’t. But hearing it from Theo…that I’m amazing, I believe it. I feel it.
“Thank you.” I grab his hand, lift it, and kiss it. The truth is there, the one I’ve already acknowledged, that I love him, but those words are stuck in my throat. If I’m going to tell him, I want to feel like I’m worthy of him, want to be as courageous as he is, and that’s going to take some work.
“We’re very shmoopy,” he says with a grin.
I chuckle. “We’re so fucking shmoopy. Literally the shmoopiest.”
“That’s not a word.”
“But shmoopy is?”
“Yes.”
I can’t help but snicker again. Just like everything with Theo, this conversation is fun.
We chat about his family, school, and a studying plan for him, but the whole drive, my thoughts are also with what Theo did and how I can take a page out of his book.
When we get back to San Luco, Theo drops me off at home. Usually, I would invite him in, even if it’s just to hang out for a few hours before I go to work, but this time I don’t.
“Thank you for bringing me. Your family really is great. I loved getting to know them.”
“I loved it too.” His cheeks get that familiar light shade of pink I love.
“See? The shmoopiest,” I tease, then lean over. Theo gives me his mouth, letting me taste him and him taste me before I pull away. If I start this now, he’ll come inside with me, and we’ll end up naked rather than me doing what I need to do. “I’ll see you soon.”
He nods. I grab my bag and head for the house. Ty and Brax aren’t home. I assume they’re at the nursing home with Matilda. I go straight to my room and call my mom.
“Hey, you. How’s everything going?”
“I think I’m in love with Theo,” I blurt, not giving myself time to chicken out.
“The guy you swore you’re only friends with?”
I plop down on my bed. “Yes. Him. He’s…he makes me want to be better.”
“Well, I think you’re already pretty damn great.”
“He makes me want more. You’ll love him. He’s so kind. He is so good to other people and doesn’t realize how incredible he is. He never even realized he’s bisexual before me, but he’s not running at all. He invited me home to meet his family. He came out to them and told them some other stuff about how he’s struggling with school, and I was so happy for him, it felt like he was doing that for me or something. Does that make sense? Not really for me, but, like, something that’s good for him, feels like it’s good for me because I care about him so much.” I rub a hand over my face and groan. “God, I’m an idiot.”