Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78007 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78007 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
My heart starts to flutter and float. How can it not, when he says things like that?
“I like being your boyfriend.”
“I like it too.” Perry presses a soft kiss to my lips, then sits up. “We need to be good. I know how quickly you get hard.”
I hit him with a pillow.
We take turns using the hallway bathroom to change and brush our teeth, before going back into the room. I lock the door and turn out the light, then pull Perry beneath the covers with me.
He must not have slept great last night because he’s out in no time, but my brain won’t stop spinning enough for me to even try to get to sleep.
I’m lying next to my boyfriend, in the bed I slept in most of my life, yet my parents don’t know. My parents can’t help Katie with school until I graduate, but each year is getting harder, overwhelming me more, and I just want to slow down, to breathe. But how can I do that when they’re so proud of me? Counting on me?
Every time I close my eyes, all those thoughts spin around my head. I can feel the time slip by. Perry rolls onto his stomach and out of my arms. It’s a twin bed, so there’s not a lot of room.
I turn the opposite direction, plucking my phone off the nightstand. Holy shit. I’ve been lying here stressing out for three hours.
It’s a stupid thing to do when I’m already feeling so shitty, but I log in to my school account to check my grade. Maybe I’ll be surprised. Maybe I passed, and that will help.
The second I see the F, my heart drops, gut tightening as a wave of nausea hits me. This isn’t good. I’m already barely holding on to Cs in most of my classes, and this F is going to drop me even lower.
My head throbs, body too twitchy to stay in bed with Perry without running the risk of waking him up.
As quietly as I can, I sneak out of the room. The lights are off in the house, which doesn’t surprise me. My parents have never been night owls. Only when I go into the kitchen, I notice my mom sitting outside in the backyard. The fire is still going, and she’s cuddled up in one of the chairs, watching the flames dance. It makes the unease in my stomach intensify, fear putting its claws into me that something is wrong.
I open the door, Cooper lifting his head to look at me before setting it down again. “Mom?”
“Oh, hey. I thought I was the only one awake.”
I shake my head, then join her on the chair beside hers. “I couldn’t sleep. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Of course. I just couldn’t sleep either. I’m not sure why, so I came out here and got the fire going. I don’t want to keep your father up.”
I nod, unsure what to say. Almost wanting to tell her I felt the same about Perry, which really wouldn’t be an admission at all. He’s sleeping in my room. Saying I don’t want to wake him up doesn’t automatically mean he’s in my bed.
“Are you sure everything is okay?”
“It really is. I have my family, my health, and that’s what matters. You know my brain just likes to wander sometimes. I overthink everything. I think you get that from me.”
My gaze snaps to hers, not having expected her to say that. It’s not something we’ve ever talked about, but I do overthink a lot of things, especially when it comes to people I love. I’m either worrying too much or jumping right into whatever the situation is. There’s no middle ground for me. “Thanks for that,” I tease, making her chuckle.
“I like Perry a lot. He’s sweet and funny. Seems like a great guy.”
I sigh, feeling more fluttering than I have any right feeling just from her telling me she likes him.
“He seems like a good friend.”
And while I know I can say he’s a good friend and Mom would let it go, I don’t want to. Not with her, and not in this moment. I’m tired of holding things in, stressing about how I feel or what I do, that the smallest thing is going to make someone upset with me or disappointed in me. It’s why I tried to make things work with Whitney for so long, and why I’ve held my school troubles in, but sitting here by the fire with my mom, I’m too exhausted to hold back. “He’s my boyfriend,” I admit, then hold my breath, though my heart knows she’ll support me.
Mom smiles, reaches over and takes my hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. “Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but I could tell. I think your sisters could too. Your dad might be the only one in the dark. The two of you are clearly smitten with each other. Whew! The way he looks at you…it’s the way your father looks at me.”