Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 87856 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87856 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Imogen: She did not.
Patrick: Yeah. She said she did this with your ex, only it was him texting her, so she wanted to get ahead of it. Just in case.
Imogen: I'm going to kill her.
Patrick: Don't. I'll miss you too much when they throw you in jail.
Imogen: Okay. For you.
Patrick: I appreciate that.
Imogen: What did she say?
Patrick: I'm an idiot and I hurt you.
Imogen: That's true.
Patrick: I'm sorry.
Imogen: I know. I am too. This got… complicated.
Patrick: The best things always do.
Julie interrupts with a request to take a walk. We talk about her mostly, then I say goodbye, and I head home.
Only I don't go to my place.
I go to him.
My hands shake as I reach for the door. I don't know what to say, where to start. Only that I need to see him. I really need to see him.
The bell rings.
Attention turns to me.
Luna, at the front desk, chatting with Dare.
Patrick.
He freezes the moment he sees me.
The entire room goes silent.
"Let's take ten." Patrick cleans up his client. Washes up. Comes to me.
"Hey." There are too many words on the top of my tongue.
"Hey." He moves closer. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Closer. "I found you after Deidre died and I needed you. I needed that understanding, so badly. I wasn't ready to let go."
"How long did you know?" he asks.
"I didn't put it together until you decided to end things. I should have told you then, but I—Well, I told myself we would have had more time to have fun if Dare hadn't opened his big mouth—" He looks to his friend, who is totally listening.
Dare waves.
"We're not listening." Luna barely tries to sell it.
"Do you want to go outside?" he asks.
I shake my head.
He moves to me until he's right there, his hand inches from mine. "I told myself it was because we deserved more time to have fun. And that was true. I wanted more time with you, figuring out what you liked, listening to you talk about movies."
I wanted that too.
"But it was more, too. I didn't want to risk losing you here. Or there."
"You loved my site that much?"
"More," he says. "But I should have told you anyway. I'm sorry."
I nod.
"I reasoned with myself every way from Sunday. And all of it was true—it's a public site, you didn't tell me this big thing, you were willing to share with strangers—but it wasn't honest. I knew it would feel like a betrayal and I did it anyway."
"I should have told you."
"No," he says. "That was yours to tell. On your time." He moves closer. "I'm sorry, Imogen. I fell in love with your words. That's no excuse, but… I hope you can understand how hard it was to let go."
"My words?"
"With you. Here. And there. I meant what I wrote."
My cheeks flush.
"You read it?"
"Every word."
"How did it feel?" he asks.
"Strange."
"For me too." He brings his hand to my cheek. "I meant it. I love you."
"I love you too."
"You do?" He brightens.
I nod.
"If you can't trust me. If you don't want to give this another shot—"
"Shut up and kiss me."
Epilogue
PATRICK
On my computer screen, Dare frowns, dead serious.
He's been dead serious for ten minutes now. And I sympathize, I do. But I promised Imogen we'd use the webcam in a different way, and this isn't the kind of waiting I enjoy.
"It's not that bad," I say.
He shakes his head you couldn't be more wrong. "She saw me naked."
"Was there shrinkage?"
"If I wanted to hear stupid shit, I'd call Holden."
"Was there?"
"Worse."
"Worse?"
He nods. "I was…" He looks around the room, double-checking the coast is clear. "At half-mast."
"So?"
"So? My best friend saw me preparing to fuck myself. And I have to look her in the eye in"—he checks the time on the screen—"twenty minutes."
"You're just friends?"
He scoffs.
"Really?"
"Well…"
Exactly.
He shakes his head, declaring his previous thought ridiculous. "Of course we're just friends. I mean, really, Val? Yeah, she's gorgeous now, but she's…"
"Like a sister?"
"Does is sound that weak when I say it?"
"Yeah," I say.
"Yeah, I want to fuck her. But it's weird. Wrong."
"Why?"
"'Cause she's Val."
"And…?"
He looks at me like I'm dense.
I guess I am. I've never had a close girl comma friend. And a lot of my not-so-close girl comma friends ended up girl-no-comma friends.
But there's always Luna.
I mean, yeah, Luna is a babe.
But gross.
"Is it the same with Luna?" I ask.
Again, he looks at me like I'm dense.
"You flirt with her, but it doesn't mean anything."
"Exactly. 'Cause we both know it doesn't mean anything. And she has a boyfriend."
"Doesn't Val?"
"They broke up."
Oh.
"So you see the problem?"
No.
"Tricky, I swear." He shakes his head, again. "How can you not see it?"
"Break it down for me with tiny words."
"She's my best friend."
"Right."
"I can't fuck that up."
"Then don't."
"What if I already did?" The sound of the door calls his attention.
But it's not on his end. It's me. I motion for him to hold on. "Imogen is here."