Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
She was the one who did the hurting.
She was the one who betrayed me.
“I’m sorry, Kai.”
That was all she could say.
She was sorry.
After I stayed by her side through the hardest period of her life.
After I’d forgiven her for her cheating on me once already.
After I still loved her.
I still love you…
Betrayal felt like a nonstop heart attack.
It attacked every inch of your mind, screwing over your thoughts.
It ate at your spirit, sending waves of self-doubts into your soul.
It broke your heart. Not once, but repeatedly.
I shook my head. “I thought you couldn’t get pregnant. We’ve talked about that with the doctors. I thought…We used condoms to avoid complications, and….” My mind was spinning. I couldn’t breathe. It felt as if my chest collapsed, preventing new breaths from finding the pathway to my lungs.
“It’s not yours, Kai.”
Four words.
One heartbreak.
“How can you be sure? How can you know for a fact that—”
“Kai,” she cut in. She shook her head.
She was sure.
I was devastated.
“Lance’s,” I muttered.
She nodded slowly, combing her hair behind her ears. “Yes.”
Her hair was growing back.
I was so happy her hair was growing back.
My eyes fell on the suitcases. Then back to Penelope. “You’re leaving me,” I choked out.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. She said the words as if they had any meaning at that point. Her apologies felt like the wind. Empty. Cold. Meaningless.
“You were going to leave without a word.”
“I figured it was easier that way.”
“Easier for who?”
It couldn’t have been me. That wouldn't have been easier if I had walked in and seen all Penelope’s things gone. It would’ve scarred me for life. Then again, this, too, was going to scar me. I already felt my tired, confused heart freezing over to stone.
Four suitcases sat in the living room, all lined up neatly. Her winter coat sat on top of the largest suitcase as the Christmas tree lights sparkled in the back corner. She walked them all out of the apartment without another word.
I sat beneath the holiday lights as I slowly began to fall apart.
HOLLY
Present Day
“I’m sorry,” I said to Kai as I fluffed the pillows on our king-sized bed. “About Penelope. I had no clue about what you’ve gone through.”
He sat in the corner chair, untying his dress shoes. “How would you know? We’ve never talked about her. It’s not a big deal.”
I frowned as a pit of guilt built in my stomach. I’d been so preoccupied with finding a holiday date that I hadn’t even learned more about Kai’s struggles. Mano mentioned that the holidays were hard for Kai, but I didn’t understand why.
I pulled my hair back into a big bun, plopped myself onto the bed, and crossed my legs like a pretzel. “Okay.” I patted the spot across from me. “Tell me more about you.”
“We don’t have to do this, Holly,” he urged grumpily. I didn’t blame him. MJ’s words were cruel toward Kai. I was quickly learning when Kai was living too much in his head.
“But you can talk to me if it helps you. I mean, if you don’t want to share, I—”
“I don’t,” he sharply cut in, his grimace plastered on his face.
“Oh… okay.”
He looked up at me after sliding his shoes off. He muttered something under his breath and sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound rude.”
“You’re fine.”
“It’s nothing personal. I don’t talk to anyone about it, really, except Mano. Most of the time, it’s him bringing up Penelope and me ignoring him.”
“How long were you two married?”
“Five years. We dated for over ten years, though. We are still officially married, but I haven’t seen her in two years. She disappeared until she recently dropped off the divorce paperwork.”
“Was that the day you were grumpy toward me?”
He nodded.
That made sense.
“I’m so sorry, Kai. How do you feel about all of that?”
His brows lowered. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“Getting me to open up to you.”
I gave him a wide-toothed grin. “It’s almost as if you want to open up to me.”
“No.” He shook his head as he walked to his suitcase and pulled out his pajamas. “I don’t.” He headed to the bathroom and changed. Then he came out and headed to his side of the bed. Before he sat down, he asked, “Want me to turn the lights off?”
“Please.”
He stood and shut off the lamps and light. He approached the bed and paused. “I can sleep on the floor,” he offered.
I pulled down the comforter on his side of the bed. “Don’t be ridiculous.” I patted his spot.
He released a small sigh and climbed in beside me.
We were quiet for a moment, but too many thoughts were racing through my mind. “Kai?”
He huffed, knowing I wouldn’t let up on the conversation.
He sat up, and I followed, sitting with my legs crossed in front of him.
“You get five minutes,” he ordered, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. “Five minutes to ask anything you need to ask about Penelope and me. Then, that’s a wrap.”