Total pages in book: 185
Estimated words: 191421 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 957(@200wpm)___ 766(@250wpm)___ 638(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 191421 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 957(@200wpm)___ 766(@250wpm)___ 638(@300wpm)
“I’ve regretted a lot of things in my life when it comes to you, Echo. But don’t make me regret this,” he says. “Don’t fucking make me regret coming after you.”
“I won’t. I won’t,” I whisper thickly. “Just don’t l-leave me.”
His chest shudders as he wipes the trails of tears with his fingers. “I won’t. Not as long as you understand that I’m not the guy for you. I’m the wrong fucking guy.”
Miraculously I’ve stopped crying and I squeeze my arms around him. “I do. I understand.”
He searches my face for a few seconds before murmuring, “Good girl.”
And the crazy girl that I am, I preen under his praise even as my heart is breaking. I kiss him back when he comes to claim my mouth. I open my thighs for him when he nudges my legs apart. I let him push my dress up and shove my panties aside as I arch under him before going for his own clothes. I arch for him when he thrusts his dick inside and starts to fuck me under the stars.
But I wasn’t lying when I said that I understand.
I do.
I understand that he’s the wrong guy for me. I understand that he’s just using me and that he has no interest in sticking around. That he’ll leave as soon as he’s done with me.
I already knew that if I gave my heart to him, he’d only break it.
But there’s something else I understand now as well.
I understand that sometimes the wrong guy is the right guy for you. Sometimes the wrong guy is the one you see in your dreams. You write about him. You write about all the things he makes you feel. All the ways he hurts you and makes you cry.
And then you write about all the ways he makes you laugh. All the ways he makes you blush and fly. All the ways he makes you feel safe and protected.
Sometimes the wrong guy is a part of your soul.
He’s made of whatever it is that your soul is made of.
And so you have to choose him.
You have to choose him because it’s not a choice.
It’s not a competition. It’s destiny.
It’s fate.
It’s written not only in your hatesick diaries but in the sky. That he turned bright on the night you met.
Not his ex-best friend.
Never ever his ex-best friend.
Not to mention, I understand that I can’t tell any of this to him. Because he’ll leave. Because he thinks I should be with the right guy and not the guy I want to be with.
And I can’t let him.
I’ve only just found him. I’m not going to let him go.
So I lie under him as he fucks me like a boy obsessed, and I fuck him back as a girl obsessed too.
A girl with a secret.
And it is that I’m never ever letting him go. Even when he leaves, he’ll stay in my heart.
Because he isn’t the only one who’s sick.
I am too.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Who: The Bubblegum
Where: Jupiter’s bedroom
When: 4:01 AM; the night when Echo becomes Reign’s
Dear Bandit,
I am sick.
I’ve been sick for six years now. But it’s not the kind of sickness I thought I had.
I’m not sick with hate.
I’m sick with the opposite of hate.
Anti-hate.
I’m sick with love.
~Echo.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I don’t regret the kiss.
It took me two years, three months and however many days to finally recognize that fact.
That kissing itself isn’t the thing that I regret.
I regret how it happened. I regret how it hurt the people important to me.
Especially my ex-boyfriend.
Because he never should’ve been that.
My boyfriend, I mean.
I never should have said yes to going out with him. I never should’ve made him — and myself — think that I loved him.
When I loved someone else.
I love him, don’t I?
I love the guy who once upon a time made me sick with hate. Only it wasn’t hate. It was love.
Love all black and blue like his beautiful face. Love dipped in poisoned watermelon and sour lemonade.
Love wrapped up in cruel hot summer and cold mean smirks.
So I love him.
I love Reign Marcus Davidson.
My ex-boyfriend’s ex-best friend.
My big bad wonderful Bandit.
But never knew it.
That is the thing to regret here: that I never understood my own feelings and thereby hurt so many people. That is the thing I need to fix. That is the thing I should be guilty about.
Which means I need to tell Lucas.
And apologize for the right thing this time.
Although no, I’m not going to tell him that I’m in love with the guy he completely hates now. Or that I’ve always been in love with him.
Because first, I don’t want to hurt Lucas more than I already have.
And second, I don’t want to kill all chances of reconciliation between the two of them. I’m already risking it by not going back to Lucas after his ultimatum. I don’t want to harm their chances any further.