Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 94220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Considering how guarded Zane was from the moment I met him, it’s shocking to hear these confessions.
With one hand still on his chest, I place the other against his cheek. “Zane, of all the things I could have expected to come into my life, you definitely weren’t it. My little creeper next door.”
His expression finally relaxes, his lips curling into a smirk.
“But whatever brought you here, I’m glad you’re here now. And I do love—”
“I don’t want you to say it because I said it,” Zane blurts out.
“I’m not saying it because you said it. I’m saying it because after the past months, I can’t imagine not having your creeper face in my life.” I take his hand and place it on my chest. “I love you too. And I’m not accepting your heart unless you take mine.”
“That sounds like a threat.”
“It is.”
He leans close for a kiss. As he pulls away, he says, “Now who’s being the bossy one?”
We’re both smiling, but then his expression turns serious again. “Leif, what am I gonna do?”
It reminds me of how quiet he was on the trip home. How much he’s being tortured by what happened at Caribou Coffee.
“You don’t have to figure it all out tonight,” I say. “That I know for sure.”
He trails his hand down my chest, to my navel, and as I follow it, I notice he’s hard again. His hand travels around my hip to my ass.
“I have an idea what I could do instead,” he says. “Now that I know, I think there’s something else I’d like to belong to me right now. If you’re ready again, that is.”
I snicker as I roll onto my stomach, displaying my ass for him. “That’s yours too,” I say.
A wide grin overtakes his face.
And he doesn’t hesitate to claim what belongs to him.
28
ZANE
Leif settles at my kitchen table in the chair adjacent to mine. He’s shirtless, his beanie on as he pours syrup over his waffles.
“I love you too.”
I replay that moment over and over again in my mind, as Leif gazed into my eyes, not hesitating or holding back. I didn’t need him to feel the same for me as I do for him, but it sure feels fucking good.
I cut another section out of my waffles, already doused in butter and syrup, and fork them into my mouth. Damn, that feels fucking good too.
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asks, setting the dispenser between us.
There’s worry in his expression. Understandably so.
Amazing as last night was—being able to forget about all the bullshit for a few sweet moments—eventually we had to come back to reality.
To a world without my brother.
A world where, for all I know, he’s being tortured and about to endure the same fate as Jason Kilbourne…if he hasn’t already.
A world where I might be slipping again.
“Before you woke up this morning, I pulled up my files on Isaac Tolle,” I confess. “And on Jason and Mike. It’s like I’m waiting for something to click…some instinct to connect dots a part of me is trying to put together, that my conscious mind hasn’t sorted through yet. But…” I hesitate, but I remind myself of what he told me last night: “If that’s what’s happening, then we’ll figure it out, Zane. You and me. Together.”
I haven’t let people in; I tell myself it’s for a good reason, but for the first time in so long, I’m not on my own. Even if it’s true and I didn’t really see Isaac last night. Even if I need help, I don’t have to be so scared. That doesn’t make the anxiety or fear vanish, but it takes some of the weight off. Rather than being lost in panic, as I was last night, I can think this through.
“It’s the kind of thing I would have done when I was having a manic episode.” I won’t lie to him; I trust him to help me know what’s real and what’s not.
“Okay,” he says with a nod. “That makes sense. It’s understandable, given what you thought you saw last night.”
“Thought being the operative word.”
That memory of seeing Isaac at the entrance has played so much in my head that I even see details I couldn’t have noticed before. The dark hoodie was one I’d seen him in before. A familiar lock of his dark hair.
My phone buzzes, and it’s a text from Wes.
Then another.
And another.
“The hell?” I reach over and open the messages. They’re images of Jason Kilbourne. In cute poses in a tee and jeans, sitting on his bed.
“What is it?” Leif asks.
“Some of the screenshots Wes took of Jason’s Grindr profile.”
Wes sends a follow-up message:
It didn’t hit me until I was looking at these after our chat, but Leif had mentioned something about a library where Mike and that teacher would go. I noticed these books in Jason’s photos. Don’t know if that’s where they’re from, but figured you’d want to see.