Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 94220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
My heart sinks. I knew this would happen; another social worker had sworn to me we’d already had enough happen to us and that this will work out.
“But we were told we’d be kept together,” is all I can think to say.
She bites her lip. “We’ve done everything we can. We really were hoping, but it’s hard to find people to adopt kids your age already. Childcare facilities are packed, so we’re lucky if we’ll be able to place both of you anyway.”
“You won’t separate us! No one will separate us!” I shout, pushing to my feet and heading to the office. Somehow I know that’s where Mike is. I push it open, but now I’m outside and Shelly is standing in front of me.
Mike’s in tears as a man—one of the staff here at the facility—pulls him by his arm. Mike reaches back to me, his eyes wide with terror. “Zane! Zane!”
I start toward him when I feel an arm hook around my waist and pull me back.
“No! Let me go!” I turn to find another staff member. I hit and slap and struggle as he restrains me. “Mike! Mike!”
“I’m so sorry,” Shelly says.
In my fit, I realize this is a nightmare.
Because it’s already happened.
But even knowing my efforts are in vain, I must give this my all. So that I can, at least in this fantasy, see my brother one more time, talk to him. A desperate part of me will do whatever I need to spend another moment with even a dream version.
“Let me go!” I scream, but I can’t break free, and in the background, I hear Mike crying out, “Zane! Zane!”
As I turn back, expecting to see him being pulled away, he’s already gone.
“Let me go!” I plead, but it’s like no one hears my screams. No one cares how much I ache. Not even my own mind, which can only be putting me through this to make me suffer once again.
A quick jolt moves through me, and the nightmare is gone.
There’s only darkness. My eyelids are heavy as I start to open them. Seeing my desk and computer monitors, my dresser and open closet, I’m reminded I’m not a child anymore. As recollections from the night before filter through, I remember where I am in time—years away from that incident.
Leif and I stayed up later than we should have to watch two movies and part of a series we started a week ago, the night after my dinner with his parents. Usually when I wake, I have my arms securing Leif close, but they’re empty, and a surge of fear courses through me.
He’s gone.
Someone’s taken him.
Adrenaline races through me as I sit up.
I let my guard down, and now he’s fucking gone. But as I glance around, I discover him at my side, right where he usually is.
He’s here. He’s fine. He’s safe.
I repeat that mantra as I catch my breath.
My panicked movements weren’t subtle, so I’m not surprised when he stirs, his eyes opening. “What is it?”
“Nothing. I scared the shit out of myself. Thought you weren’t here.”
He smirks. “Was my short king worried about me?”
“Yes,” I say without a trace of humor.
He must realize how deadly serious I am because his expression twists into a frown and he props himself up on his elbow. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”
I relax on my back, and he cuddles up against me, burying his face in my chest.
Between how he’s gripping me and his words, my body relaxes. I kiss his head, his hair gently tickling my lips. “Sorry, I had a bad dream, so when I woke up, I was on edge.”
“What was it about?”
“It was about when Mike and I were at that children’s home. The social worker who promised they’d try to keep us together was there. Even when she first told us, I knew it was bullshit, but I think she was trying to set us at ease after everything that happened. She’s the one who let me know about the couple wanting to adopt Mike. I screamed and cried and tried to cause a big fuss, thinking it would make it stop. But crying doesn’t stop the world from being shit.” It’s a fact that weighs heavily on my chest.
“That’s horrible.” His gentle breath rushes against my skin.
“It’s still rattling me. In the dream, I’m putting up a bigger fight than I did back then. Like really doing what I think I should to keep them from taking him away, but they still do. And there’s nothing I can do to stop them.”
Leif kisses my chest and gazes up at me, worry in his expression.
“Sorry for waking you,” I say. “And good morning.”
He kisses near my pec. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” he assures me. “You want me to do something to take the edge off?”