Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 72494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 362(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 362(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Kind of?
I was definitely questioning what crazy decisions had led me to this point. But I was sitting across from Bex in a gay bar where someone was having mind-blowing sex in the back room…so I wasn’t sure I should be complaining…or second-guessing anything.
This was the most exciting night out I’d ever had and it wasn’t even a date.
“That’s a very valid answer.” Bex’s response was so sincere sounding I found myself relaxing back into the seat. “You just need to think about what you want to do now. Do you want to walk away and just ignore what you’ve started to learn about yourself, or do you want to explore your questions?”
Just imagining answering made my mouth dry and I looked at the half-empty bottle of water on the table. It should’ve been easy to pick up the water and have a drink. I’d already mastered the art of warning him so he didn’t accidentally kill me.
But now…
What did I want to do now?
The first random thought that popped into my head was that I should’ve asked for something stronger than water. Bex had been trying to take care of me but I had a feeling this would’ve been easier with a shot first.
“May…may I have a drink of water?” Sir? Master? Over the past few days, I’d seen subs online and in romance novels call Dominants all kinds of different things but I had no idea what the right thing to do in real life would be.
Bex didn’t seem to mind the lack of an honorific. He smiled and nodded but it wasn’t an excited, silly expression. It was something…something wicked almost. “Yes, Payton. Have a drink and then when you put it back down on the table, I want you to take a deep breath.”
I could do that.
It was probably a good idea based on how jittery I felt.
Focusing on one thing at a time and trying not to think about the fact that I was obeying what a Dom had said, I finished up the instructions with the deep breath I really had needed. When I felt centered again, I peeked up at Bex, whose smile looked softer this time.
“How did that feel?” His question was slightly vague but I had a feeling he wasn’t just talking about the extra oxygen.
“Obeying a Dom?” It felt like a stupid question until he nodded and seemed pleased that I knew what he was asking.
So maybe it’d been smart?
Logical. It’d probably been logical to clarify the question.
“Yes, but don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear.” Now he was back to looking flirty and teasing as he grinned. “Even though I’d love to be right.”
That got a laugh out of me and was the perfect distraction to make answering him honestly a lot easier. “Would it be stupid to say that I liked making you happy? I mean, the asking was kind of weird, but not in a bad way. However, mostly what stands out was that you liked it.”
His smile said he thought I was cute at the very least, but he didn’t seem to think I was pathetic. “I think it’s a very reasonable answer for a sub who’s never explored that side of himself. I also think it might be very reasonable to be frustrated or confused or to think there was something wrong with wanting to make someone else happy. There’s no wrong way to feel right now. You’re just figuring shit out.”
No wrong way to feel.
I wasn’t so sure about that but I liked that Bex seemed to believe it.
“I will definitely admit to being in the figuring shit out phase.” That got a laugh from him and I found myself feeling all sappy about being the one to make him happy.
I thought the reason his next question didn’t startle me was that I was still in the punch-drunk phase.
His smile was addicting.
“What did you think of the pups you saw online? I know you must’ve looked at them.” The teasing grin he was wearing made me blush, but mostly because of the images in my head, not because I was nervous.
I should’ve been nervous, though.
“They have tails.”
Oh, that wasn’t what he’d asked.
Shit.
He managed not to laugh but there was a cheeky grin on his face as he nodded. “They do, and when they’re happy, they like wagging their tails.”
There seemed to be several kinds of happy that were involved in tail wagging but I didn’t point that out because my face was already so red it hurt…and I wasn’t trying to give myself a heart attack.
“They’re all very happy…and…and they seem to love all the attention their Doms give them.” That was a reasonable answer, right?
Telling myself that it’d been better than talking about tails, I was relieved when Bex nodded and didn’t seem to mind the shift in conversation as he responded. “I think pups are the happiest subs. There’s got to be something freeing about not having to worry about anything but playing and getting cuddled.”