The Friend Zone Fiasco Read Online Crystal Kaswell

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Erotic, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 92070 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
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It's a little easier to think with the head above my waist. Barely. But that's for the best too, because I can't begin to consider the implications of this lesson.

Am I that big a slut she thinks this means nothing?

Or am I that good a friend?

But, hey, we're on a deadline here, and it's time to go and meet her new boy-toy for a date. Because I'm not here to get my rocks off. I'm here to get her rocks off.

Only maybe she doesn't need to use Archie for this particular task.

Maybe she can use me.

It will probably ruin our friendship, yeah, but that seems like so much less of a concern without any blood in my brain.

So thank fuck we're leaving.

Because this is a possibility.

And that is absolutely not a possibility.

The subway ride passes in awkward silence. The short walk to the bar too.

This is a new neighborhood, a little ways from the touristy spots. It looks like the rest of Barcelona, only without the rows of chain stores and random Gaudi buildings.

Shit. I need to get my head in the game. I need to stop drifting into my thoughts. Sure, it's the only way to keep my hands to myself. But it's not happening.

We're here to get Val laid, and I'm on board with that mission. One hundred percent.

"Can you order drinks?" I force my voice to something neutral as I step inside the bar.

"Do you want something to eat?"

No. I want the alcohol to hit my system as quickly as possible. So there's too much booze for my dick to work. But I'm not sure that's even possible at this point. Val is some sort of life and flesh Viagra.

Fuck, I sound like my dad. No, I sound worse than my dad. Even he isn't low enough to compare his best friend to a boner pill.

"Dare?" she asks. "Are you hungry?"

No, but we should eat. "Let's split something." Otherwise, she'll drink on an empty stomach, get too drunk, and make bad decisions I can't stop. "The patatas bravos."

"Sure."

"I'll find a spot inside." I check the time on the wall. Thirty minutes to set up before her date arrives. "A place where he won't see me."

She nods and heads to the bar.

The interior is dark, with sharp corners and low visibility. I find a spot in the middle area and position myself so I can see the main room. As long as Val takes the seat facing me, we're good.

For some reason, the victory feels hollow. Worse than hollow. It gnaws at something in my stomach. Or maybe that's hunger. When did we last eat? What did we eat?

Except for the feeling of Val's lips on mine, my memory of the day is fuzzy.

Ahem. Platonic thoughts. Yeah, right, platonic thoughts? How about we think of the Platonic ideal of re-introducing Val to sex? The two of us, in her bed.

That's where the word comes from. Plato. The Platonic ideal of friendship.

She taught me that. Now, I can teach her everything.

Okay, fuck platonic thoughts. I pull out my cell to play a mindless match three game, only there's a better distraction waiting, another set of texts from Tricky and Luna. Not really a change of subject, but it's something.

Luna Locke: So? Did it happen? Did the second drink inspire you to confess your love?

Patrick: Two drinks? That's not enough to give Dare a buzz.

Luna Locke: Yeah, what do you weigh, Dare?

Patrick: That won't offend him.

Luna Locke: No?

Patrick: No. It's the chance to say, "two hundred pounds of muscle, baby, and it's all ready to work for you."

Luna Locke: He's said that?

Patrick: Something similar.

Luna Locke: That's a dumb thing to say.

Patrick: Exactly.

Luna Locke: Too dumb.

Patrick: That a level for him?

Luna Locke: We're supposed to be nice.

Patrick: You're capable?

Luna Locke: I'm very nice.

Patrick: Since when?

Luna Locke: Real friends tell the truth.

Dare: Nice of you two to join me here.

Patrick: So we're both nice.

Dare: No.

Patrick: Then settle this for us. Do you no longer want the entire world to see you as hot and dumb? It's on your Instagram.

Dare: I don't have an Instagram.

Patrick: You didn't have an Instagram until Luna showed you the picture of Val in a bikini. Now, you have an incognito Instagram.

How did he find that?

Luna Locke: Wait, what?

Dare: Don't you two have social lives?

Luna Locke: It's barely noon here.

Dare: Jobs?

Patrick: Where do you think we are?

Luna Locke: We stopped talking about you to talk to you. That's friendship.

Dare: Is it?

Luna Locke: What happened!?!?!

Dare: Nothing happened.

Luna Locke: Then why did you reply to our stupid texts?

Patrick: Maybe he finds us charming.

Luna Locke: Seems unlikely.

Patrick: Yeah, we're pretty annoying.

Luna Locke: You especially.

Dare: Should I let myself out?

Luna Locke: No! Talk! Did you realize you're in love with her?

Dare: I want her, sure.

Luna Locke: Did you kiss her?

Dare: Yes.

Luna Locke: !!!!!


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