Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 115737 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115737 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
I shake my head into him, trying to rein it in, but I feel so fraught, unsure and vulnerable. The feelings are new to me, and I have no idea what to do with them. There’s no doubt I’ve just increased the difficulty of my situation. I know I should have resisted him, pushed him away and stood firm, but my integrity and morals drown at the sight of him. My want for him, maybe even my greed, makes it unbearably hard for me to reject him when he’s near. Not that he’s letting me. I’ve fallen into a black hole of hopelessness, and though I know I need to drag myself out before I lose myself in it forever, I fear I’ll never be able to refuse him. I’m frightened to death that an addiction to Jack is rooting itself deep inside me, and I’m even more scared that I won’t let anything stand in my way of taking what I can get. Not my morals, not my conscience . . . and not even his wife.
The silence stretches for too long, leaving nothing but quiet for me to torture myself with. I can walk away. I can end this now. Yet my arms don’t release him until he pushes himself up, peeling his body from mine and slowly lifting his hips. His semi-erect cock slips free and he rolls onto his back beside me, leaving me feeling abandoned and hurt. I glance across to him and find him staring at the ceiling, one arm splayed over his head, his other resting on his stomach. I want to know what he’s thinking. I also don’t want to know, so before I let my curiosity get the better of me, I get up from the bed and go to my bathroom, shutting the door behind me.
I look at my naked body in the mirror, reaching up to feel my damp cheeks. My nipples are still flushed pink with desire and the inside of my thigh is glistening with evidence of our combined release. Lifting my gaze to the reflection of my face, I see despondency in my green eyes. I also see words springing into the air around my head. Adulterer. Weak. Immoral. Heartless bitch. My hands meet the edge of the sink and my head drops, unable to face myself. I don’t know this woman. What have I become?
A light tap on the bathroom door interrupts my self-loathing thoughts and pulls my heavy head up. ‘Annie?’ Jack’s soft voice is evidence that he knows damn well what I’m doing in here. Beating myself up. Ripping myself to shreds. ‘Can I come in?’
The lump in my throat won’t allow me to talk, so I nod like an idiot, even though he can’t see me. It’s beyond a stupid idea to invite him in, but stupid seems to be controlling me these days. The door quietly opens and his beautiful head peeks around nervously, searching me out. His brown hair is a mess, his grey eyes still bright. It’s been minutes since I last saw him, but it’s like seeing him for the first time all over again. The thud of my heart, the rise of my body temperature. I stare at his reflection in the mirror, unwilling to look away. Or unable to. The understanding on his face nearly cripples me. He pushes the door all the way open and walks with purpose towards me, turning me around and yanking me into his chest, hugging me fiercely.
My emotions get too much to hold back. ‘This isn’t me,’ I sob into his chest, finding comfort in the smell of his clean sweat. It’s something else that catapults me back to the night that I fear will haunt me forever.
‘It’s not me either, Annie.’
‘Then why are we here?’
He lifts me to his body and encases me in his hold. ‘Because I know it’s where I should be,’ he whispers, almost solemn.
My heart clenches in my chest painfully. I think every other person on the planet would disagree with Jack. He should be with his wife. Not here with me, and that notion pains me. I don’t know what’s happening. This is so crazy. He’s still virtually a stranger to me, but the thought of not seeing him again is unbearable. The question what now? hangs from my tongue, but something stops me from asking. It’s fear.
‘Come,’ he breathes, steadying me on my feet and taking my hand. ‘I need some caffeine.’ Leading me through my flat, he finds his way to my kitchen and indicates the cupboards. ‘Mugs?’
I smile, trying to disregard how perfect he looks standing naked in my kitchen. ‘Yes.’
He matches my smile, pulling two down. ‘Ask me how I knew that.’
‘You’ve been breaking in and rummaging through my cupboards and drawers?’