Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
“I don’t have regrets,” I say carefully. “But I don’t know what this is.”
“I don’t either. I just know it’s not over.”
Something inside of me thrills at the confidence he’s exhibiting, but at the same time, I can feel the barriers rising up around me. “We’re over. Have been for years.”
The corner of his mouth twitches, his eyes twinkling. “We’re starting new then.”
I shake my head, but his hand grips my jaw again. “Don’t deny it. You know there’s still something here between us, and if we can get past the hurt…” I try to talk but he amends the path he was taking. “If you can forgive me for what I did to you, then we could build something good, Kat.”
Forgive him? Is that what he’s seeking?
And he wants to build something new?
“I don’t think I can trust you,” I say, all the old hurt welling up.
“Let me try at least,” he says, his tone slightly pleading, which is something Gabe Mardraggon would never do. “Just… let’s keep seeing each other, okay?”
“For sex?”
“Well, yes, for sex. Wasn’t that fucking fantastic?” Yeah, it was. The best ever if I’m honest. “But let’s continue to rebuild our friendship. We have Sylvie to worry about and it’s in her best interests if we all get along.”
“That’s convenient,” I mutter.
“I’m being serious,” he growls, pressing his lips down hard on mine. When he lifts, he says, “Please… promise me we can see each other.”
I’m not opposed to what we just did. He’s right… fucking fantastic. I could do that over and over again with Gabe, but I’m not letting this get any deeper than sex.
“Okay,” I say, and I feel his body relax. I shut that down fast. “But we can’t tell anyone.”
Gabe’s eyes narrow. “Keep it a secret.”
“Just like back in college,” I affirm.
“But you didn’t want to keep it a secret.”
“I do now.”
He studies me thoughtfully and I know he thinks I’m doing this to get back at him. But I’m doing this for self-preservation. If I can keep what Gabe and I have in a bubble, I can prevent feelings from developing. I can keep things contained and under control.
It’s my best chance of protecting my heart but deep in my gut I know it’s a risk that I could be destroyed, no matter if we keep it to ourselves or tell the world.
“Fine,” he finally relents. “We’ll keep it a secret.”
CHAPTER 19
Gabe
It wasn’t only but a handful of times I’d sneak onto Blackburn Farms to meet up with Kat at the little apartment above the tack room the summer between our freshman and sophomore years of college. But in those days, Kat would meet me at the farm’s boundary where I’d leave my car parked at the edge of an old service road and we’d steal through the night, hand in hand, to our destination. I trusted that everyone who could catch us was tucked away where they should be and there’d be no irate father or brother waiting to lay me low with buckshot.
I don’t have those assurances now.
I drove my G 550 because I intend to park on that service road again and my Ferrari sits too low. I intend to sneak along the same paths to that apartment but I don’t have the promise of safety. Kat has no idea I’m coming and that’s by design. If I’d have asked to come over, I’m quite confident her answer would’ve been no.
That’s not to say she’s changed her mind about us continuing to see each other. In fact, she came to my house last night under the guise of working on the winery expansion, but we spent barely thirty seconds talking before we were going at it in my office. Let’s just say that my desk got well used and it wasn’t to study spreadsheets or investment reports.
We’ve been back from France for three days now and Kat has played it cool with me. She’s not once asked to get together, content to make me work for it.
That’s fine as I’ve got a lot to make up for. But her agreement to spend time with me has been hard to come by and it’s hit or miss whether she’ll even respond. The reason I’m so sure she would say no if I asked tonight is because last night, after our heart rates had returned to normal and our sweat had cooled, Kat let me pick her up from the desk and carry her up to my bedroom. She then let me take my time with her body, getting reacquainted with all the little sensitive spots that I used to own. She let me put my mouth everywhere and when she climaxed on my tongue, she called out my name with such longing, my chest ached.
And after that was all done, she let me just hold her. Granted, I think she was worn out, a puddle of bliss and quite malleable. I forced her to be vulnerable by holding her tight, talking about inane things. Eventually she relaxed and we managed to have a conversation that had nothing to do with the winery, the original feud or our horrid breakup.