Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
It’s that simple.
Kat smiles at Sylvie. “Talk to your dad about the next time you can see your uncle. I’m sure he’ll be glad to propose a schedule.”
“Did this work for you?” I ask, my eyes locked on Kat. It’s been hard to see her here in this apartment, the place we used to meet secretly all those years ago. “Because we can make a standing meeting for us to go over winery plans after I see Sylvie. This time every week is good for me.”
Kat’s expression is inscrutable. “How about we go through the stuff you brought over tonight so I can get an idea of how much of my involvement will be necessary?”
A not-so-subtle way for her to say she’s not sure she wants to spend any length of time around me, either dealing with the winery business or chaperoning my visits with Sylvie. I don’t push her on it, though, merely inclining my head.
“Wait here. I’ll be back in five minutes. Restroom is through that door…”
Her voice trails off as she realizes she doesn’t need to tell me which door leads to the toilet and which one is for her bedroom. I know the exact layout of this little abode, although it looks a lot different than it did eight years ago. Kat has clearly put her touches on it throughout.
Sylvie gives me another hug, thanks me again for the presents, and then they’re dashing out the door in their raincoats. When I’m alone, I take my time and walk around the place. Nothing is recognizable from when we snuck in here to be together. I shamelessly open her bedroom door, take in the black wrought iron bed and lacy duvet cover. Strong and feminine, exactly how I’d describe Kat.
I note the hordes of framed pictures—on shelves, tables, walls. All family and friends, Kat always smiling big for the camera. I used to take pictures of her all the time on my phone and they’re still there, but in a hidden folder I don’t ever look at. I didn’t move them there right after we broke up, pulling them up each night and scrolling through them like a lovesick fool. Kat smiling coyly, laughing with gusto, naked on white sheets, slurping spaghetti, lying on a blanket outside, staring up at the trees.
Exiting her room, I head back into the living area. I walk the perimeter, noting the eclectic mix of décor. An art deco floor lamp with a thin, fluted glass shade casting multicolored sparkles, a vibrant Moroccan rug with red and blue geometric patterns, an antique globe with a weathered brass frame and an intricately carved wooden dragon that sits perched on the edge of a bookshelf. All items that have nothing to do with each other and yet seem to all go together somehow. It’s a room that would hurt my orderly, conservative brain, yet it’s comfortable and warm.
It’s a bit torturous looking at something that represents what I couldn’t have, knowing that the reason I couldn’t have it was because I made the choice to walk away. Kat called me a coward and she might be right, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t care for her. I wanted us to work and I would have eventually figured out how to make our families okay with it, but she wanted too much, too fast. She never gave me the chance to get it right.
Two weeks after Derek accosted Kat and I’d made the sickening decision to not stick up for her and instead acted cruelly toward her, I was still mired in guilt and the stifling oppression that I’d made a horrible mistake. I hadn’t wanted to go but my fraternity brothers pushed me into attending the last home football game of the season. UK is known for its basketball but football was always my sport, so it’s not like I wouldn’t have fun. I was trying to move on with my life, convinced things would eventually get better.
That I’d stop missing Kat.
It was at the end of the half and my buddies and I were walking back to our seats. We’d tailgated before the game and even though I was only nineteen, I never had a problem purchasing beer or liquor. Partying was the college way of life and I partook.
I wasn’t so drunk though that I didn’t see Kat standing in line at one of the concession stands. She was beautiful in jeans, furry boots and a white puffy coat with a blue and white UK scarf. Her black hair was loose and her green eyes sparkled with humor as she laughed at… something the guy next to her said.
A man with his arm around her waist. He was tall, athletic and wore glasses that didn’t make him look nerdy but somehow like a supermodel, accentuating his good looks. They were a beautiful couple and I was immediately enraged that it took her only two weeks to move on when I’d been wallowing in self-condemnation.