Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 46792 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46792 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
“Shouldn’t be a problem, right? Since you only want to be friends with me?”
Her eyes widen another fraction, and I fight an urge to pump my fist in the air. She still wants me. Whoever this other guy is, I’m going to make sure he fucks off immediately.
I hear her sigh softly as she walks into the laundry room. I’m right behind her, closing the door after us.
“Who’s this other guy you’re seeing?” I demand.
Her lips part. “Who told you?”
That’s her response? I tense, aggravated as fuck that she’s most concerned about how I found out there’s someone else.
“Dom did, but why does it matter?”
“It’s not what it sounds like.” She pinches her brows together and looks away, her gaze landing on a pile of towels sitting on the built-in wood table I assume is for folding laundry. “I thought it was just a work meeting with a client, but then he asked me to have coffee with him sometime.”
“So some sleazy motherfucker forced you into a date with him?” I clench both hands into fists. “Did he put the moves on you?”
If she slept with him, I’m going to rip apart Dom’s washing machine, piece by piece. And then I’ll use one of those pieces to beat the shit out of his dryer.
She picks up a towel and starts folding it. “Not really, but...I felt like I couldn’t say no to the coffee thing because he’s a client.”
I have to unclench my teeth to ask, “Are you attracted to him?”
She looks up at me, emotion swirling in every gold, green and brown shade of her eyes. “I don’t...I mean, I’ve never thought of him that way. He’s older than me. But maybe I need to be smarter and safer about my choices in men.”
I move closer to her, forcing her to drop the towel she’s folding. “You don’t think I’m a smart or safe choice?”
Her laugh is nervous. “You’re the opposite of that.”
My body tenses as I fight the urge to take her face in my hands and kiss her until she agrees to never see this other guy again and to give me another chance with her.
“I’m a dumb, dangerous choice?” I ask skeptically.
Her eyes widen. “Not for every woman, but for me...yes.”
I don’t know whether I’m more offended, hurt or angry. Maybe all of the above.
“Why?”
She inhales sharply. “I’ve chosen men based on my attraction to them in the past, and look how that’s worked out for me.”
I balk at that. “So I’m out just because you’re attracted to me?”
“No, it’s...”
She looks over at the table of towels and reaches for one. I stop her hand by taking it in mine.
“You don’t need to fold the towels,” I say, stroking my thumb over the back of her hand.
“It is stress folding.” She smiles nervously.
“I stress you out?” I furrow my brow, concerned.
“No, not you. Just...” She points at me and then herself. “This.”
“I shouldn’t have assumed we’d have sex on our first date. I’m sorry for that. I was just so...”
She puts a palm out. “It’s okay. That’s what you’re used to. And I used to be used to it, too. But it’s not working for me anymore. I have to think of my boys and also...I just don’t want to be that girl anymore.”
“I respect that. We can wait as long as you want to. And you know I love Sam and Tate, Cam. Why would you think not dating me is best for them?”
Her eyes soften. “Because it’s the truth. Dom and the teammates who are over here a lot, like you and Sergei, are the only good male role models my boys have. And that--” Her eyes flood with tears and she clears her throat. “That matters a lot to me. Them having that stability means more to me than how attracted to you I am.”
I nod and look away, ashamed I still want to kiss the hell out of her, even after her emotional admission.
“If we didn’t work out, I’d never hate you,” I say. “We’d still--”
She shakes her head, tears still welling in her eyes. “I love hard, Rowan. I give men my entire heart, and it sabotages the rest of my life. I can’t do that anymore. I need to be sensible.”
I want to argue with her. Keep trying to sell her on giving me another chance. But I picture Sam, who’s always pushing up the glasses that seem too big for his little face, and Tate, with the mischievous grin and missing front tooth, and I deflate.
Even though I was sixteen when my mom died, I’ll never forget the enormity of the loss. Kids only have one mom. And I admire the hell out of Cam for putting her sons’ needs above her own wants.
She won’t meet my eyes now. It’s like she’s embarrassed that she admitted she’s all in when it comes to love. She shouldn’t be, though. I’m not that way, and it’s why I’m still alone and probably won’t ever get married and have kids.