Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 121054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 605(@200wpm)___ 484(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 605(@200wpm)___ 484(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
“Everybody stop!” Deja shouted, jumping to her feet. “Let the woman who just got her hair relaxed on Tuesday get out of the tub.”
“I’m getting out, too,” Penny said, though she didn’t stand as confidently as Deja had. “The champagne and heat is getting to me.”
“Amateurs,” Holli scoffed.
When Deja and Penny left to get dried off and changed, Holli leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “So, are you ready to be a married woman?”
“Um, yeah.” My stomach sloshed a little. Not from the champagne. “I’m nervous.”
Holli made a face to go along with her “pfff” sound. “What’s there to be nervous about? You and Neil have practically been married since you moved to London with him.”
“It’s change. You know how much I dig change.” I rolled my eyes. “When you were about to marry Deja, weren’t you nervous?”
“No. Why would I be? I needed to get that hot piece of ass on lockdown before some other bitch swooped in on her.” Abandoning all pretense of using a glass, Holli grabbed one of the half-full champagne bottles from the lip of the tub and took a big swig before handing it to me.
I downed my glass to free up my hand for the bottle. “Once you’re married, though…it’s like getting closer to a cliff, isn’t it?”
“That’s romantic.”
“No, I mean…” What did I mean? “It’s more like a roller coaster. Being engaged is like waiting at the top of the first hill, and the wedding is that moment when you hear the brakes click. Once you hear that, you’re going over. There’s nowhere else to go.”
Holli frowned. “You know, this doesn’t sound like you’re that into the idea of getting married.”
“I want to be married,” I protested. “But once you go down that hill…you can’t go back up. When we get married, everything gets so much more serious, doesn’t it? And if I don’t like the change, there’s no way to undo it and go back. It’s not like you can say to your husband, ‘hey, I don’t care for being married, let’s go back to dating.’”
“No, you’re right. That’s kind of divorce territory, at that point,” she agreed.
“Exactly! So, what if we do this, and I don’t like being married? Everyone says, ‘oh, it’s so different from just living together, your whole life is going to change.’” I heard the panic creeping into my voice.
So did Holli. She moved through the water to sit beside me. “Can I tell you a secret, as a wife? Everyone says it’s completely different from living together, but it’s not. It’s a piece of paper you’re never going to think about ever again. I thought getting married to Deja was going to make some big change in our lives, too, and that we’d be thankful for it every day. And don’t get me wrong, I understand how lucky we are that we can even get married. But, most of the time, I don’t even think about the fact that we’re married. I just think, ‘wow, I’m with this person I love so much, it makes me happy and bonkers and terrified all at the same time.’ And that’s exactly how I felt about her the night before our wedding, and the week before our wedding, and the month before our wedding. The only thing that’s changed is that, if we break up now, it’s going to cost a lot of money.”
Sometimes, best friends are worth more than any therapy bill. “You know, for someone who thought jackalopes were real until you were twenty-three, you’re actually pretty smart.”
“I maintain that they could be real.”
I raised an eyebrow. “They’re rabbits. With antlers. How could they fit down their rabbit hole?”
“Their rabbit holes are extra big, because they dig them out with their antlers!” she argued. She went on, “You’re going to be fine. You’re the third most responsible person I know. You just don’t have any common sense. If you love Neil now, you’re still going to love him after the ceremony. You’ve just got some jitters.”
“Yeah. You’re probably right.” I leaned my head on her shoulder and sighed. “I should get out of here before I cook myself.”
“Good idea,” she agreed.
In the shower, a few moments later, I considered what Holli had said. I knew deep down that she must be right; getting married couldn’t possibly change a relationship that was already a lifetime commitment. But it seemed like everyone around me was breaking up.
Maybe instead of focusing on the negative, I should look to the positive examples of married couples around me. Like Holli and Deja, or Emma and Michael. If anyone could convince me that marriage wasn’t potential relationship death, it would be those four.
* * * *
With the wedding speeding toward us, I knew I had to get the whole tell-Emma-about-the-book thing out of the way, or it would drive Neil and me to the brink. I arranged to meet Emma at the apartment under the pretense of having Sunday brunch with her father and me, though Neil was at home in Sagaponack meeting with his therapist.