Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 105080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 525(@200wpm)___ 420(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 525(@200wpm)___ 420(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
Bashful: Can you come into the living room, please?
Well, well, well. He really had gotten rid of his brother quickly. I tried to focus on that—on Anson wanting to spend more time with me—rather than the fact that he’d done it so Elias wouldn’t know about me.
I made my way back toward the living room. “I was going to make you blow me once for every fifteen minutes that—” I froze when I stepped around the corner. Anson was there, sitting on the couch, his brother beside him. They both whipped around at the sound of my voice, knocking my heart to my feet. “I’m sorry…I thought…”
Why hadn’t he told me Elias was still there?
“Holy fuck. Holy fuck,” Elias said. Anson had buried his face in his hands, his legs bouncing with nerves. “You’re…Senator Calloway.” The light in his eyes changed, and I saw the pieces coming together in his head. He turned, looked at Anson, then back at me before his gaze settled on his brother. “Ans?” There was no mistaking the question in his voice.
Anson looked up, legs still jumping, hand against his mouth. “I, um…fuck…well, obviously. You heard what he said, but I just… I’m…”
I couldn’t hold back anymore. I went to him, his brother’s eyes tracking me the whole time. “He’s mine,” I said to Elias, by way of explanation. I pulled Anson to his feet and wrapped my arms around him, my mouth close to his ear. “You could have warned me so I didn’t come out talking about sucking cock.”
My voice was light, and his soft chuckle made it clear he understood what I was doing.
“You didn’t have to do this,” I added quietly. “Not for me.”
His back straightened, and I felt it, the change in him. “Yes. I did. I wanted to.” Anson pulled away and looked at Elias. “I’m gay.” He shrugged. “I’m gay, and I’ve always known, but I spent my whole life lying to everyone around me…until I met West, and then I couldn’t…I can’t lie anymore. Not to you, at least. I’m gay, and I love him, and he deserves for you to know him.”
My knees went weak, my legs almost buckling under me. I looked at Anson, who watched his brother, but I couldn’t tear my stare away from him. I was a lot of things to a lot of people. I was a means to an end, a tool used to get what someone wanted. I was the guy men wanted to fuck and some women wished was straight, a thorn in the side of those who didn’t agree with me, and a fierce ally for what I believed in. I was a disappointment to my parents; to them, I was wrong, but to Anson…fuck, to him I was worth it. I was worth telling his secret to the person who meant the most in the world to him, and damned if that wasn’t the best thing to be.
I grabbed his hand, held it tight, hoped he could feel everything I couldn’t currently say with words in how I squeezed him.
Elias said, “I don’t care about that. Jesus, Ans, did you really think I would? I don’t care who you love or who you fuck. I care that you’re the best person I’ve ever known, and loving a man won’t change that.”
It was then that I finally let myself breathe.
“I had a crush on the boy whose house we were at when you had your accident. I went there because I liked him, and I wasn’t watching you because I was too busy wanting him.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Elias and I said in unison. He looked at me and grinned, then continued. “Stop being a fucking martyr. We’ve gone over this. It was an accident. It doesn’t matter that you were babysitting me or that you had the hots for that guy. It wasn’t your fault. Nothing has changed. God, bro. Did you think I’d blame my accident on the fact that you’re queer? I’m more pissed at you for thinking that about yourself and—again, even if inadvertently—for making it seem like something’s wrong with me because I’m in this chair. It happened. I’m over it. I’m happy, and I live a fulfilling life. Stop stressing over something I wouldn’t change. It’s who I am.”
In that moment, I understood why Anson was so close to Elias, why his brother meant so much to him.
“I’m sorry. You know I don’t think—”
“Then stop feeling bad about it. This is it. That shit ends now, okay?” Anson nodded, and Elias smiled and studied the two of us. “You didn’t know he was at the Super Bowl, did you? You were being weird when I told you about seeing him. I didn’t get it, but now I do.”
Anson finally looked at me, so much damn emotion in his stare, it stole my breath. “No, I didn’t know, but I wasn’t surprised. West is always there when I need him.”