Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 89303 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89303 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
“I think the reasons are obvious…”
He pulled away slightly so he could look at me. “It’s not like Catherine and I hooked up sometime after we were divorced and then I knocked her up. We were happy at the time, husband and wife. Ryan was made with love…not to sound cheesy. Having a family was what we wanted more than anything at the time, and it happened. I’m nothing but grateful, even if the circumstances aren’t ideal.”
He was a good man to react this way, when anyone else would find it to be nothing but an inconvenience to their new life. It made me love him more. But it also sowed a deep doubt in my chest, because every time he looked at Ryan, he’d see the woman he once loved, once committed his life to, and maybe he would start to feel differently. I tried to tell myself that wasn’t true, but in the back of my mind, it was there…simmering.
He was scheduled at the Kline Clinic the next day, so he canceled the entire day and we went shopping. Instead of spending the day together having lunch or even taking a trip, we were getting baby supplies.
Dex and I hadn’t been together long, either time, and both times Catherine had popped up and got in the way. If she hadn’t been pregnant with Ryan when they were married, I would assume she did it on purpose.
We spent the entire day getting everything he needed, from a portable car seat, a crib, clothes, formula, the whole works. I’d hoped Dex would be the man I married, and I imagined we would have a couple kids and do this together sometime in the future. But now, I was getting supplies for a baby he had with someone else, and this was how we were enjoying the honeymoon phase of our relationship.
Kinda sucked.
I told Dex I could take care of everything myself while he worked, but he insisted that he wanted to be included in the process, especially since he’d missed everything up until this point. It took several trips carrying everything back and forth, and then we set it all up in a spare bedroom. There was still a queen-size bed and dresser inside, so I’d have to get everything removed so Ryan could have his own room.
Dex was able to put the crib together without even looking at the instruction manual, setting it up against the wall next to the changing station.
“Have you told your family yet?”
“No. Haven’t had time.”
“What do you think they’ll say?”
“They’ll be happy, of course. They got another grandkid.” He turned to me. “Now we’ve got three cute-ass babies in the family. Move over, Little Deacon and Cam. We’ve got another hotshot.” He opened the drawer and placed the diapers inside. “Ooh, I wonder if they’ll be best friends.”
I forced a smile. “I’m sure they will.”
He shut the door and opened another box. After he ripped it open, he glanced at me, his stare becoming observant. “Baby, everything okay?”
I forced a smile. “Yeah. Everything’s great.”
He stilled and continued to stare, his eyes shifting back and forth as he looked into mine. “I guess I never asked you how you feel about this whole thing. I just assumed…” He straightened and pivoted his body so he could look at me head on.
Was I a terrible person for not being ecstatically happy about this like he was? Was I a terrible person for actually…being a little disappointed? I just got Dex, and I felt like I had to share him, not with Ryan, but with Catherine. “It’s just…I’m still processing it. I actually thought Catherine was sick or something, and then I find out there’s a kid. Like a whole other person…who looks like you.”
He rested one arm on top of the changing station as he regarded me.
“I feel like we haven’t even had a chance to be together, and then this happens. You told Catherine you wanted to marry me and have babies with me, and now you have a baby with her. I just…imagined that if I went shopping for baby stuff, it would be for my baby, not your baby…you know.”
He gave a slight nod, but his eyes were a little sad. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about it that way. That was insensitive of me.”
“It’s okay.” I gave a big sigh, feeling the pain amplify in my lungs with every breath.
“If I were dating any other woman, I wouldn’t expect her to go shopping with me and take care of my kid. I would keep it separate, because the kid isn’t her responsibility. I guess I just assumed you would be happy too.”
“Happy that my boyfriend is having a kid with his ex-wife?” I asked incredulously.
He dropped his gaze.
“How would you feel if I found out I was pregnant with Vince’s kid?”