Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 113741 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 569(@200wpm)___ 455(@250wpm)___ 379(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113741 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 569(@200wpm)___ 455(@250wpm)___ 379(@300wpm)
Chapter 20
Trent stood in front of his bathroom mirror inspecting himself closely. He’d taken a quick shower, and dressed in fresh clean blue jeans and a polo golf shirt. He put on socks and a pair of loafers, shaved and brushed his teeth. He did everything he could do to build himself up. The only problem he could see were the red rimmed eyes staring back at him. He didn’t know how to get rid of those. Hell, those eyes staring back at him reminded him of the time surrounding his sister’s death. He always had carried his heart in his eyes, or so he’d been told. There was just no way to hide the pain of heartbreak.
He’d keep the house dark; that was the only option he could think of to hide his eyes. He didn’t want Gage to know the effect his rejection had on him. He sent Rhonny a text message telling her Gage planned to come over. He expected this to be the breakup talk and asked her to stay hidden for a while. He then went through the house turning off all the lights he could without appearing odd. Hopefully, it would help mask him from Gage. At this point, all he had left was his self-respect, and if it looked like he spent his time being a crying mess, he wouldn’t even have self-respect to get him through the next few minutes.
Trent went into the living room and took a seat on the sofa. The house seemed eerily quiet, and he crossed his leg over his knee psyching himself up for the coming conversation. Ignoring the pain in his heart, he’d let Gage say whatever he needed to say and then ask him to leave. He would walk Gage to the door, shut, and lock it before he let one tear slip down his face. In this big master plan, he decided he would allow himself tonight for a full on pity party. Tomorrow, he would wake up and begin to repair the damage done to his company by coming out so publically. What a dumbass he’d been. He would also begin looking for some part-time work to bring immediate money into the house.
Having his picture in the paper for the city to see just wasn’t one of his smartest decisions. He should have thought through it better, but he promised himself he would never do anything like this again. Em and Hunter deserved someone to think with their head, not their stupid, lovesick heart. And honestly, it was beyond pathetic how in love he already felt with a guy he knew from the beginning wasn’t for him. If this didn’t push all the stupid, romantic thoughts from his heart, he guessed nothing ever would.
A quiet knock tapped at the front door. Trent stayed seated for a second more, steeling his heart before he rose and took the few steps to the entryway. His great plan to stay strong began to waver as he watched Gage at the front door through the frosted glass. He definitely wouldn’t make eye contact. He would look at his forehead or nose, but never in the eye. He opened the door and stepped back. If he didn’t invite him in, just stood right there to let Gage say what he wanted, he could shut the door and be done very easily. Gage didn’t wait to be invited in, though, he stepped inside carrying a folder and his laptop, and stopped in front of Trent, too close for comfort.
“I’m sorry I hurt you Sunday night. I’ll live with the fact I did for the rest of my life. It was unfair of me, but I was very confused with what I found. It’s not an excuse, just what happened, and I’m very sorry,” Gage said, taking an additional step into his personal space. It occurred to Trent perhaps Gage didn’t understand the meaning behind personal space because he always did this. He stayed so close Trent could feel every breath Gage took.
“It’s fine, Gage,” Trent said, and stepped back and away, shutting the front door. He thought better of it and pulled the door open again. “If that’s all you came to say, consider it said.” He cocked his head toward the front door, encouraging Gage to leave.
“Why won’t you look at me?” Gage asked, stepping up on him, caging him between the front door and his body.
“I am looking at you,” Trent said.
“You’re looking at my nose,” Gage said and lifted Trent’s face with his finger under his chin. It forced Trent to lift his eyes and Gage narrowed his. “Have you been crying?”
“God, no! I just haven’t slept in several days. I have a lot going on,” Trent said as he wrenched his chin from Gage’s grasp and looked away from the sexy compelling eyes that could hold him in their thrall. The pain in his heart crippled him from the lie he’d just told. This time he shut the door completely and scooted out from around Gage, but Gage stopped him.
“Why have you been crying?” Gage asked.
“I haven’t, Gage. I have two children at the end of the school year. I have a business that’s struggling, and the anniversary of my sister’s death.” And a boyfriend, who isn’t my boyfriend, like I knew he wouldn’t be! And I fucking told you I loved you. How pathetic am I? Trent averted his eyes again.
“Trent,” Gage said, his voice pleading. Gage stepped in closer, if it were even possible for him to do so. Trent dodged the move and put distance between them by sidestepping Gage and walking into the living room. He needed space… Actually he just needed Gage to leave and let him get back to recovering his life.
“Gage, please say what you came to say. It’s late, I could use an early night.”
“Well, I’m afraid that’s the one thing that’s probably not going to happen tonight, Trent. Can we go to your kitchen? I need to show you some things. I need the room,” Gage said, coming to stand in the living room. Trent retreated back with every step Gage made toward him. It seemed Gage wanted to have every conversation with only a couple of inches between them. So much for those best laid plans. Trent couldn’t bear to stand so close, breathing in Gage’s cologne, watching those lips move, knowing he would never kiss them again.