Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 33586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 168(@200wpm)___ 134(@250wpm)___ 112(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 168(@200wpm)___ 134(@250wpm)___ 112(@300wpm)
“I sincerely hope you know what you’re about Mellie.” Just the way he says that name makes my ovaries tremble, and the smoldering look he gave me all but singed every hair follicle on my being. I fought the urge to go to him and let him do all the things his eyes promised, it would be so easy to just give in, but something held me back, the need for more.
If all I were after was a quick tumble I would go for it, but I wanted a lot more than that, I wanted forever; the thought of how impossible that was almost made me weep. I felt the old tears of frustration begin to gather in the corners of my eyes but battled them back. I wanted him so much, that the pain was a real ache in my heart and my womb. I’d woven so many of my dreams around him, around us, that I would just crawl into a hole and die if he turned me away.
***
I can’t say if it was the first time I’d clapped eyes on him that my life’s dreams had changed. At our first meeting I was a shy, withdrawn introvert who wouldn’t have had the courage to look him in the face long enough to get a sense of who he was.
But as time went on, I gradually raised my head enough to get a good look, and that, combined with the kindness he’d shown me when he didn’t need to, was the cocktail that worked to turn me into the wanton mess I am now. It had been years in the making that’s for sure, and instead of waning with time it only seemed to grow worse as I got older.
I’ve lived through girlfriends and close calls for the last eight years. There were times I thought I would die when he would show up with some new beauty on his arm, each one prettier than the last. Thoughts of murder were prevalent in my mind during the dreaded teen years, when I just knew he wouldn’t wait for me the way I daydreamed that he would.
Of course back then he hardly knew I existed, other than as the awkward daughter of the woman who had married his dad. The age gap between us had limited our contact outside the home, plus the fact that he was already away at school. But whenever he was around that first year he’d gone out of his way to show me kindness.
Maybe it was then that this great all consuming feeling had blossomed in me for him. Or maybe it started the day I got a good look at him when he stepped out of the shower and had no idea that I could see into the mirror through the small crack in the door.
Even now the memory of that experience left me breathless. It was my first real look at the male form in all its glory, and it spoiled me for all others. I had no real concept of length and size back then and what they meant. All I know is that that one glance had made my tummy feel weird in a good way and had awakened something in me, something that had never quite been put back to rest.
I’d hidden myself away in my room for the remainder of that weekend, using my bedroom window to spy on his goings and comings as I dealt with the newly discovered feelings in my young body and heart. From that day until now, I have carried this burn just under the surface of my skin for this one human being.
No one else has ever been able to come close to making me feel that same longing and many have tried. Sometime around my sixteenth birthday a year later, I blossomed in all the right places. At least to the teenage boys in my high school it appeared so. For me, it was a period of mortification. With the two new hindrances that sprung up on my chest, not to mention the unwanted hair that grew in out of the way places.
The braces came off, my lashes grew out a lot longer and fuller, and my ass took on a life of its own. I didn’t know what to do with myself back then other than to hide under my clothes. Where I’d been a relative klutz in his presence before, I was now even more awkward. He never once showed any hint of an interest in me of course, that would’ve been way gross, but I sure looked my fill and dreamt of him nightly.
Funny, now that I think about it, it was perfectly logical for me to crush on him hard, but totally unacceptable for him to do anything about it. That didn’t stop the dreams or the reaction of my body to his nearness over the years though.