The Circle – Shape of Love Read Online J.A. Huss

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Mafia, Suspense Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 103620 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 518(@200wpm)___ 414(@250wpm)___ 345(@300wpm)
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“Christine,” Danny says, taking my hand, “what are you remembering? Try to think.”

“I am,” I tell him. Again.

I close my eyes tightly. Closing my eyes tightly won’t be helpful in any way, but it at least projects to other people that I’m really giving it my all.

What’s in there? Inside my head? Hiding in the dark corners of my mind, hesitant to come out into the sun for whatever terrible reason?

“I don’t know,” I breathe. “I don’t. I can’t… I dunno.”

Don’t I know? Can’t I remember? Really? Or is it just that the last time I accessed whatever memories had gotten lost in the haze, it brought back up a history so messy and sorrowful that I wish it had stayed buried?

If my memories hadn’t come back to me, might we not all still be just living in a glass house in the middle of nowhere, naked, happy, and oblivious?

Probably not. The things we forget are never really gone, just tucked away for a while. Eventually, it would have all come out again anyway. Eventually Lars and his men would have stormed the castle, as it were, and…

Lars.

A castle.

“Vienna!” I say with a start.

“Vienna what?” Danny asks.

“That’s where I heard the voice. Lars and I were someplace outside Vienna at a meeting with…”

“Meeting with who?” Danny prompts.

“I dunno, Danny. If I knew, I’d tell you. I promise, I’m not holding anything back.” He shoots me a quick, skeptical glance. “Not anymore,” I follow up.

“Hm,” Alec grunts.

“What?” I ask him.

“Yeah. The oke on the phone was Austrian,” he muses.

“He was?” Danny asks.

“Obviously,” Alec responds.

“Maybe to you,” Danny says.

“Why?” asks Alec. “What did you think he was?”

“I dunno. German. Dutch. Finnish?”

“Finnish?” Alec repeats, with a scoff.

“Yeah, fuckin’ Finnish.”

“Finns and Austrians sound nothing alike.” Alec laughs.

“Dude, who fuckin’ cares? Christine,” Danny says, refocusing the conversation, “do you remember at all when this was?”

“Yeah,” I begin. “It was during the time that Lars and I were…” I stop. Because there’s no point in saying it out loud. Everyone knows the period of time I’m referring to.

“Yeah, okay,” Danny says, saving the moment from having to linger on longer than anyone would prefer, “so you and Lars were in Vienna having a meeting with someone about a diamond. Is that what we’ve got?”

“I… think so?” I grind out, working it through in my brain.

“So,” Alec starts, “so let’s just postulate some theories based on this new information.”

“Dude,” Danny says, “don’t start fuckin’ postulating.”

“Why not?” Alec asks.

“Because ‘postulating’ is just a fancy word for ‘guessing.’ And guessing isn’t helpful. It’s like trying to find the source of a gas leak by lighting a match. Until Christine can remember some more specifics or until we get another call with actual information, I’d just as soon not get all scattershot and accidentally shoot ourselves in the dick.”

I look at Alec, who has a small smirk on his lips. “That was a grand basket of metaphor you just dumped out, Danny. Well done.”

“Shut up,” Danny says.

There’s a beat. None of this is funny and yet these two can’t help but be charming. It’s one of their stupid superpowers.

Then, after a moment, Alec asks, “What made you come after me?”

He isn’t looking at us when he says it. He’s staring out the window. Like he’s embarrassed in some way. I wait a second to see if Danny has any interest in offering a response. When he doesn’t answer, I speak up.

“Because we love you.”

I can feel the weight of it when it comes out of my mouth. There’s something profound about saying something so simple. So obvious.

Even after all we’ve been through and all we still have to go through, I have never stopped loving either of them for even a second. Even when I hated Alec, I still loved him. Even when Danny was gone, I loved him every day.

I really do. Love them. Both of these two. I have loved Danny longer and he will always be my first true love, and he knows that. So does Alec. But Alec, Christine, and Danny… that is my truest love. When I am my truest self.

It’s not just that they’re the two most strong-willed people I’ve ever met. It’s not just that they’re the two most physically beautiful men I’ve ever met (although that’s a solid bonus). It’s that there’s something inexpressible and magical about us when we’re all together. A weird feeling of invincibility. Which, of course, is an illusion. No one is invincible. But we come awfully damn close. The three of us. The triangle.

And that’s the simple reason Danny and I couldn’t let Alec go off on his own to do this thing today. Whatever sudden attack of guilt or conscience Alec might now be feeling is fine for him, but after all we’ve been through, there was no way we would let him be taken from us. I’m not saying we’ll be together happily ever after until the day we all simultaneously drop dead at the exact same time, but if anyone or anything wants to rip one of us away again, they’ll have to fight their way through a wall of fury that looks exactly like the other two.


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