Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Graduation is an emotional roller coaster. My parents cry their eyes out. Harrison flies out and sits next to my mom, who clutches his hand during the entire ceremony. Will and Beckett sit with Oliver, and all three of them holler and whoop when I take the stage in my cap and gown. George and Lourdes are both STEM majors too and receive their diplomas alongside me, and I’m shocked to discover they broke up, no longer united in love and learning.
The boys’ ceremonies are later in the day, and I kiss them both afterward—in public. Not a single person around us bats an eye, which bodes well for our Australian adventure. I still don’t know how this relationship arrangement is going to work or how it will look in the future, but right now, I’m happy. Blissful. Grateful.
We’re leaving tonight for LA. The taxi is picking us up at the boys’ house in Hastings, so after I hug my family goodbye, I get a ride out there with Faith. She’ll be living in Boston now, and I sold her my car since I can’t exactly take it with me to Australia.
Now, I stand in the doorway of their town house, looking out at the darkening sky. A bittersweet heaviness is suspended in the air. The house is empty, cleared out for the next tenants, but my heart feels like it’s still tangled up in this place, like it’s refusing to move on.
“You good?” Beckett says, coming up behind me.
I turn and give him a small smile. “I’m good. Just thinking.”
“It feels weird, doesn’t it? Leaving.”
The lump in my throat grows. “Yes. It does.”
His hand finds mine, and we stand there for a minute, absorbing the moment. It’s hard to believe it’s over, this chapter in my life. College. Four years over in the blink of an eye.
“Is the cab here?” Will’s voice breaks through my thoughts.
I see him standing by the stairs, his backpack slung over one shoulder. He’s in a sky-blue hoodie and faded jeans, and although he’s smiling, it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. I guess he’s sad too, to leave this place behind.
Nodding, I sling my purse over my shoulder. “Yep. Just got here. He’s pulling into the driveway.”
Beckett and I step onto the porch. It takes me a second to realize Will isn’t following.
“Babe?” I prompt, glancing over my shoulder.
I feel the shift in the air before he even opens his mouth.
“I’m not coming.”
He speaks so softly I can barely hear him. But when his words register, it feels like the ground drops out from under me.
I freeze, still clutching the strap of my bag. “What?”
Beckett echoes the sentiment, only more colorfully. “What the fuck, mate?”
Will doesn’t look at me. At either of us. He stares at his feet, his jaw tight. “I’m not coming to Australia.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
WILL
Gutted
I’M NOT COMING TO AUSTRALIA.
Those five words hang in the air like a noose, and I can already feel the tension winding around us, choking whatever future we were about to step into together.
Beckett is frozen in place.
Charlotte is staring at me like a mom cat who lost all her kittens in a barn fire.
I swallow hard, not able to meet their stunned gazes. “Not right now,” I clarify.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Beckett demands.
I desperately try to find the words, but none of them feel right. “I thought I could do it. I thought I could just get on the plane and go with you guys, but I can’t. Something’s telling me I need to stay.”
Charlie’s face crumples, and I feel like the worst person in the world. “Stay for what? Will, we’re leaving in a few hours. You were all packed—”
“I know.” My voice cracks, and I hate how small it sounds. “But…”
I trail off. The truth is, I don’t know how to be in a relationship like this. With her and Beckett. There’s too much I still need to figure out.
Even though everyone who knows about us has been accepting of it, I still can’t stop thinking about the day Tessa Diaz was here, how I’d introduced Charlie as Beckett’s girlfriend. His. Not mine, not ours. I’d lied to protect myself, because I didn’t know how to explain us. I didn’t know how to tell someone, a stranger, that I was sharing the woman I love. The woman we both love. It felt like a tangled mess I couldn’t unravel, and instead of confronting it, I buried it. I told myself that as long as our friends and family support us, who cares what the rest of the world thinks. But the truth is? I think I might care.
But that’s not the only reason I can’t go. I could navigate this thing with them, learn how to walk this path, so long as we do it slow and steady. And I still intend to do that.