Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“Harrison, no, that’s not what I—”
“He beat me, Hae. He burned me with cigarettes. Did you know that? And while he was doing that, you were living the good life with your perfect fucking family. I didn’t get to grow up in some cozy little home. I got stuck with an abusive drunk who treated me like garbage. And now you want to give me this stupid bunny like it’s supposed to make everything better? Like it erases the fact that I got left behind?”
His words slam into me like a punch to the throat. I stumble to my feet, stunned, my chest tightening with guilt.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I hoped it might mean something to you. To have something from before we—”
“From before we were separated? From before you got to live happily ever after and I got locked in closets for hours when I was being disobedient?”
My heart aches. “I know it wasn’t fair. I know you went through things I can’t even imagine. But I didn’t choose this. I didn’t ask to be adopted without you.”
“No, you just got lucky. You got everything. And I got nothing. And every time I look at you, it reminds me of how fucked-up my life has been compared to yours. So don’t stand there and act like you understand, because you don’t.”
Tears prick my eyes. “You’re right. I don’t understand. But I’m trying. I want to understand.”
He shakes his head. “It’s too late for that, Charlotte.”
His words crush all the hope I had that this gift might help bridge the gap between us. Instead, it’s only widened the divide.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, my heart breaking for him. “I wish I could change it, but—”
“But you can’t,” he snaps. “And don’t give me that bullshit about how you think your parents didn’t know I existed. You know you don’t believe that. Otherwise, you would’ve told them about me already. But you’re stalling because you’re scared to hear the truth.”
I flinch as if he’d struck me. “That’s not true,” I protest.
“Stop lying to yourself. They didn’t want me. They only wanted you.”
I feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes, attempting to leak out. “You’re wrong. They would have—”
“Fuck this,” he interrupts. Cold and final. “I should’ve never answered your message. I don’t want you in my life, and I sure as hell don’t want these dumb memories.”
Before I can react, he snatches Tiger off the bench and marches toward the wooden railing separating us from the river below. He winds his arm back, then hurls the bunny into the water. I watch in horror as it floats away.
The one tangible connection to my past slipping out of reach.
“No!” I cry out, running to the edge, but it’s too late. Tiger is gone, carried away by the current. I spin back to Harrison, my heart shattering to pieces. “Why did you do that? That was all we had left!”
“Because it doesn’t mean anything. None of this means anything.” His face is devoid of emotion. “I’ll wait for you at the car.”
He turns and walks away, and my tears finally burst free, spilling down my cheeks as I watch him disappear around the bend.
I want to hurry after him, to tell him he’s wrong, that we can fix this, that we can still have something. But I can’t move. I can’t breathe. The pain is too much.
And as I stand there, alone by the river, I realize that I’ve lost him all over again.
Two hours.
I drive two hours to see them.
I could’ve gone back to Delta Pi after I dropped Harrison off at his hotel. Gone home and talked to Faith. Or to Hastings, where the boys would be happy to comfort me.
But I don’t want their comfort.
I want my mom and dad.
It’s hard to drive with a sheen of tears in my eyes, but somehow, I make it to Hamden in one piece. I pull into the driveway and don’t even bother turning off the engine; I just jump out, my feet pounding against the stone path as I hurry to the front door. My hands tremble as I twist the knob. It’s locked. And my stupid keys are in my stupid car, so I start knocking, each frenzied rap echoing my frantic heartbeat.
The door swings open to reveal my mother, her expression shifting from confusion to alarm as she takes in my tear-streaked face.
“Oh, sweetheart!” she gasps, pulling me into her arms without hesitation.
I bury my face in her shoulder, the familiar scent of her lilac perfume bringing a flood of comfort amid the chaos in my heart.
“What happened? What’s wrong?”
“He threw him in the river!” I sob, my voice muffled against her soft white sweater. “He threw Tiger into the river!”
“What? Who?” she frets, her worry deepening as she wraps one arm around me and ushers me into the house.