Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 109294 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109294 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
“I have to tell you something.” I kept my voice steady because that was the only way to have this conversation. Just get it over with. Put it out there then move past it. “I wouldn’t share it with you…but you’re going to find out anyway.”
She pulled away slightly, but her hand remained on my thigh. “Okay…”
“I told you I was tortured after…” I kept my eyes on the floor, but I could see her movements in my peripheral vision.
Her breathing increased, and her fingers loosened against my jeans. Her energy changed, subtly panicky, like she wanted to run but there was nowhere to go.
I got to my feet, unfastened my jeans, and turned around. I could just tell her what happened, but she would see it at some point, and I’d rather just get it all over with now.
Now, she looked confused, like she had no idea what I was about to show her. She’d been with me last night, but it was too dark to notice anything, and we were both distracted by the moment.
Then I pushed my pants and boxers down.
My cock was soft, so it was easier to see the difference.
She spotted it instantly, her eyes watering like a dam had broken behind her gaze, and she covered her mouth to stifle the scream that wanted to burst from her lungs. Like it was too ghastly to confront, she dropped her chin and covered her face with both hands, her body suddenly heaving with the sobs that took her over. “No…” She broke down in front of me, overcome with so much pain that she couldn’t process it all. “Oh my god…”
I pulled up my pants then stared at her, watching her grieve for me. Her heartbreak would have been revenge to me months ago, but now I just felt sick. Her pain was worse than the pain I’d actually had to endure when it happened.
I moved to the seat beside her, then wrapped my arm around her, comforting her the way I did after Alix had her half naked and bent over on the bed. This woman didn’t shed a tear often, so when she did, it was real…it was horrific. I pulled her into me and rested my chin on the top of her head as I listened to her wail.
“I’m so sorry…”
I closed my eyes, hearing the ring of truth.
“I’m so…” She couldn’t finish because she was overcome with tears.
I could relive the memory and feel the flood of hatred overwhelm me, but I didn’t. I didn’t hold on to the past. I didn’t hold on to what she’d done to me. We’d taken cuts for each other, our bodies mosaics of scars because of everything we’d done to protect the other. That was when I realized there was no act more loyal than that, that we would literally do anything for each other…and that was beautiful. “I forgive you.”
Seventeen
Guard Dog
She didn’t want to leave.
She took a long time to get ready, even though all she needed to do was put on her uniform. She didn’t need to do her hair and makeup. There was no preparation at all, but she still took forever.
When I walked into her bedroom to hurry her up, I stopped and watched her.
She sat in front of the window, seeing the lights of the Eiffel Tower in the darkness. She stared without blinking, as if she were saying goodbye to the structure that acted as a monument to her heart.
I gave her a few minutes.
She must have known I was there because she said, “I don’t want to go to the camp, but I don’t want to leave this place more, if that makes sense.”
It did. “We’ll be back in a month.”
“A month is a long time…”
“I know. I don’t want to go back either.”
She turned to look at me. “Then why do you?”
Even if I could, I’d never leave her there by herself. “Because I have to.” I stepped away from the doorway because this conversation couldn’t continue. “It’s time to leave. Come on.” I walked to the elevator and hit the button so the doors opened.
She joined me, her head slightly down, still depressed after I’d shown her my mutilation. Her eyes were puffy even though hours had passed, like she shed tears when she was in private because it continued to haunt her.
We got into the elevator and then the car and began the long journey back to the camp.
She was quiet for much of the drive, like she didn’t feel like talking as much as I didn’t feel like it. But hours later, she said, “What do you think will happen with the guards…since you took me away?”
“They’ll be mad. But they’re always mad at me.”
“Will they try to hurt you?”
With one hand on the wheel, I kept my eyes on the road. “Probably. But I don’t care.”