Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 77198 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77198 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
“You got it, boss.”
With that, Hop hung up the phone, and I went to track down the brothers. They all knew I was in for a tough night, so Viper and his boys were doing what they could to help me get started on the cleanup. They’d already gathered most of the casualties and had placed them on a tarp in the garage, and I needed to check in on their progress.
When I walked in, Lynch and Shotgun were bringing in the guard that had shot me in the arm, and from the looks of it, they were struggling. As soon as they got the guy over the tarp, Lynch let go of his feet and let them drop to the ground with a hard thud. “Holy shit. This dude puts new meaning to thick.”
“Yeah, he was one of those who took the whole ‘clean your plate’ thing to heart,” Shotgun grumbled.
“You ain’t kidding.” Lynch looked down at the guy and shook his head. “Billy’s gonna have a time with this one.”
“I’ll manage just fine,” I assured him.
“I don’t know.” Lynch snickered as he said, “Gonna take some maneuvering to get this big fella in that incinerator of yours.”
“It won’t be a problem.” While I was grateful for the help, I was in dire need of some peace and quiet, and there was no way in hell I was going to get that with them around. “I can cover things from here.”
Viper sounded skeptical as he asked, “You sure about that?”
“Yeah, you guys have done more than enough.”
“Alright, boys. You heard the man.” Viper waved his hand toward the door. “Let’s roll out.”
And just like that, everyone started filing out of the garage and headed out to the SUVs. As soon as they were all gone, I headed to the staff kitchen to look for some gloves and a couple of trash bags. Once I’d found what I needed, I headed outside and started collecting shell casings. I could’ve just waited for Hop and Trip, but I needed to get started.
Over the years, cleaning had become therapeutic for me. It gave me time to process the things that were going on in my head, and after everything that had gone down, I had a lot to process. I felt like the weight of the world was crashing down on me. Not only was I struggling with my feelings toward Everleigh and the crazy stunt she pulled, I was also dealing with the fact that I was now a cold-blooded killer—something I never dreamed I would be.
I walked around DeLuca’s grounds and continued to pick up shells as I tried to make sense of it all. I knew I’d done what I had to do. My life was in danger. I had no choice but to react, but I never thought I would ever be in such a horrible position—I never dreamed I would take someone’s life.
I’d heard it was tough, that the guilt would eat at you for years to come, but this was more than just guilt. I’d willingly put myself in the situation to kill-or-be-killed, and every time I pulled that trigger, a piece of me broke—leaving me a fraction of the man I’d used to be.
Maybe it was the officer in me, but I couldn’t help but wonder if there was another way to resolve this thing with Antonio. Not that it mattered now. The damage had been done, so I’d have to learn to live with it. Everleigh, on the other hand, was a different matter altogether.
I hadn’t just fucked up today.
I’d been fucking up for weeks—since the day she came crashing into my life. I’d tried to keep my distance, but the second I let my guard down, I was done.
I never dreamed anyone could get to me the way she did. I’d been void of feeling for so long that I didn’t know I was even capable of letting someone in. I’d spent years guarding myself against all the pain and heartache that I felt when I lost Grace, but without even trying, Everleigh had torn down my walls and shown me a world that I’d forgotten existed.
I’d started to have feelings for her—feelings I thought I didn’t need or deserve, but I had them just the same. And they terrified me. I’d already experienced the ultimate loss, and I knew I couldn’t survive it again—which was why I was so pissed about her showing up at Antonio’s place.
I understood why she’d done it—that she was trying to help, but she’d put her life in danger, and that had me spinning. I’d hoped that working would help me sort through all the thoughts racing around in my head, but it had done little to help. I was still wound up tight—maybe even more so than when I started.