Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
“If you want to sleep in a man’s shirt, you can use mine,” I rumble as I slide it over her head.
Katie does lift her hands to feed them through the sleeves—although to be honest I think she does it mostly in shock. I reach under it and pull the towel free from her body. My hand grazes against her breasts and her body trembles as heat fills my body and makes me ache. I try to tell my dick to calm its ass down, but I can feel it stretching out against my jeans—filled with hunger. Just that simple touch feeds my desire for her, but I ignore it. I’m not going to find any relief right now.
“You’ve fallen off one too many bulls,” she whispers. “You’ve obviously got brain damage. That’s the only explanation.”
I exhale my irritation loudly. “Katie, I’ve been back in town how long now? Over two months? I haven’t made it a secret I want you and Lennon in my life.”
“That’s different. This—”
“And if you haven’t realized that I want you in my life—in my bed—you haven’t been paying attention.”
“It’s not all about what you want Jake. You aren’t the only person involved here.”
“Don’t do that, Katie.” I rub my forehead as I try to tap down my frustration.
“Do what?”
“You’re trying to deny what’s between us. You want me, too, honey. We both know it.”
“God, men are such idiots. I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about Lennon. Everything we do affects our son. I can’t allow my hormones to rule my brain. I have to be careful.”
“I love that boy. If you think I would do anything to hurt him—”
“I know you love him, you big dummy. If I didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.”
“Then—”
“There are a lot of ways to hurt people, Jake. What happens when you leave Macon to go home and go back out on the road? Where will Lennon be then?”
I sigh, finally getting to the root of the problem. I just have no idea how to fix it.
“Is it Lennon you are worried about here, Katie, or you?”
“Jake…” she murmurs unable to deny it.
“Why don’t we just admit the truth here?”
“What’s that?” she whispers so quietly that I can barely hear her.
“I fucked up all those years ago. I hurt you and there’s no trust anymore. You don’t trust me enough to give me another chance.”
She swallows but she doesn’t deny anything I just said. “I’m sorry,” she says instead.
“I am too, sunshine.” I get down on my knees in front of her and put my hands gently on her thighs. It startles her but she doesn’t push my hands away. When I look into her eyes, the fear I see on her face is painful. “Listen, I do have to go back on the road at least this coming year, Katie.”
“I know that. Being a cowboy is who you are. I’ve always known that, Jake. I even knew that when we were planning our future together. I was always competing with a part of you that I couldn’t touch, a part of you that loved something bigger and more seductive than I could ever hope to replace.”
“You talk about it like it was another woman,” I grumble, my lips moving into a smile that is full of pain and not joy.
“It would have been easier if it were. I know in my heart that you would never cheat on me and allow another woman to come between what we had. I didn’t have to worry about that. It was just the bright lights and thousands of people yelling out your name I couldn’t compete with.”
“I guess that’s something,” I breathe out, my lungs burning. “There’s something I never understood. Why did it always have to be all or nothing with you? Why, if you trusted me enough to never cheat on you, you couldn’t hold on to what we had and go on the road with me? You could have done it part-time. We could have made it work, Katie. I loved you enough to make it work.”
“I couldn’t leave Mom, Jake. You and Barb have taken over for me. What I do now for her, I was mostly doing back then. She wasn’t quite as weak, but she’s been in that chair for a lot of years. She took me in, loved me, kept me out of the foster system or worse. I couldn’t leave her.”
“I guess I never knew you did all of that even back then. She was still walking…”
“She was for short distances, but she had to have a cane and she couldn’t stand in the shower and support her weight. I didn’t have the money for a motorized wheelchair either and her insurance wouldn’t pay for it back then. She needed me.”
“I really was stupid and blind, wasn’t I?”