Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
“And if he doesn’t?” I ask, coughing because I’ve used my voice extra today and I’m feeling the pain from it.
“Then you will be here, surrounded by people who love you and who will also help you pick up those pieces you’re worrying about. You aren’t alone, baby. You never have been,” she says, squeezing my hand.
She’s right. I’m not alone…
But I’m still scared.
“What’s going on in here? You two women look way too serious.”
“Yeah, you look seer-us,” Lennon chimes in, riding on Jake’s shoulders. Barb is beside them, smiling.
“We do, huh?” I murmur. Jake puts Lennon down and I open my arms for my baby. He joins me on the bed, and I hold him to me, breathing him in.
God, I’ve missed him.
“Yep,” Lennon says, laying his head against my chest. I wince a little cause it’s a little painful to hold him like this. I look up to find Jake staring at me, concern in his eyes.
“Hey, buddy, what if you get up and sit in—”
“No, I want to hold him a little while,” I argue, kissing the top of my son’s head.
“If you’re sure,” Jake cautions.
“Positive. Did you guys go have food?”
“Yep! We had a Happy Meal.”
“All three of you?”
“Well, Lennon had one. Jake and I opted for a quarter pounder.”
“I bet that was good,” I respond to Barbara, knowing how much both her and Jake hate the place.
“Scrumptious,” Jake murmurs, and I let out a silent giggle from the look on his face. It’s painful because it makes my body jerk, but I just hold Lennon closer.
“Hazel, we were kinder to you. We thought you might like to have a chicken dinner from KFC.”
“Thanks,” she laughs.
“I’ve got it in my car. I figure we better all say our goodbyes, so we get back home before it gets too late.”
“I don’t want to leave Mommy,” Lennon argues, hugging me tighter.
“I don’t want you to leave me either, buddy, but Mommy has to stay a little longer.”
“Why? If you come home, I can help you. You can lay in bed all day. I’ll bring you food and everything. Just like you do me when I’m sick, Mommy.”
“I wish I could, buddy, but the doctors won’t let me leave just yet.”
“But—”
“Hey, Lennon, what did I tell you?” Jake says, crouching down by the bed so he’s closer to our boy.
“That you would stay with Mommy to take care of her until you could bring her back home to me.”
“Exactly. Your mom is going to be okay.”
“Are you, Mommy?” he asks, his little face earnest as he looks up at me for reassurance.
“I’m going to be just fine, baby. Your momma is a tough old broad. I just need a little more care to help me walk and things. That’s all.”
“I love you,” he exclaims, face-planting into my chest and making the words muffled. I hold him close, tears stinging my eyes.
“I know I scared you, Lennon, but I’m okay, I promise.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Mommy.”
I put my hands on each side of his face and force him to raise up to look at me. “You won’t, honey. I’m not going anywhere.”
“What if you have another ax…ax…”
“Accident?” I finish because he’s taking big gulps of air and it’s making it hard for him to talk.
“Yeah.”
“Then, I’ll come back here where the doctors will patch me up and make me okay again.”
“But they won’t let me stay with you.” I can see the tears shining in his eyes, but he’s trying really hard not to cry.
“No, but you will have your grandmothers to take care of you. Plus, if you really needed him, Jeff would come to you.” Even as I say the words, I can feel the tension that swamps the room.
“Jeff’s not here,” Lennon sniffles.
“No, but you don’t need him, honey. You have Jake. He’s taking care of both of us and if you need him, I know for a fact Jake would move heaven and earth to get to you.”
“He would?” My son turns his head to look at Jake. I somehow drum up the courage to do the same. He’s staring at me so intently that I’m almost afraid I pissed him off so much he won’t reassure Lennon.
“Yeah, he would, Lennon. He’ll always be here for you,” I murmur.
I see a flash of something in Jake’s eyes. I don’t know what it is, but the tension lessens in the room, so I figure it’s okay.
“Would you, Jake?” Lennon asks.
“Anytime, little man. I told you, I love you.”
Lennon launches his body into the air. Jake catches him, holding him close. He hugs Lennon tight and stares at me. “Thank you,” he mouths.
I rub my lips together, feeling as if I’m way in over my head. Everything feels very complicated and I have no idea what I’m doing.