Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
“I know. Still, I’ve never felt comfortable with that decision. You knew that. I wanted Jake to have his dreams and not blame me or Lennon but…”
“You can’t forgive the things he did just because you’re fucking him again, Katie.”
My body physically jerks with his attack. “I’m not sleeping with Jake. I wouldn’t do that to you—to us.”
“You’re not sleeping with him yet, but you will. You don’t need to deny it. We both know you will.”
“Wow. For someone who claimed to love me, you sure have a lot of faith in me—”
“Katie—”
“In my love for you, even. I know the whole town thinks I’m nothing but a whore who will spread my legs for any man with the last name Ryan–”
“Katie.”
“But you, Jeff…You should know better.”
I hear him let out an audible breath, and if I close my eyes, I can see him rake his hand through his chestnut hair. The man on the phone is not the Jeff that I was slowly falling in love with. This is the Jeff I was afraid I would turn him into. The one mad at me because I didn’t give more, move faster…
“I’m only going by your history with Jake, and you can’t deny that. He comes back in the picture, and that’s all it takes.”
Another blow delivered. Another sin of my past thrown up in my face.
“You act like I’ve lied to you. I never went there with you, not at all until Jake was a hundred percent out of the picture.”
“And yet here we are, and you’re choosing him over me, yet again.”
“That’s funny because I thought it was you that I was getting ready to marry, Jeff,” I snap, letting my anger get the better of me.
“You called that wedding off, Katie, remember?”
“Just for that day. We couldn’t go through with it after everything that happened. I thought we could get married quietly and work together to come up with a plan on how to deal with Jake. You didn’t give me that option. You left and I waited for you, Jeff. I sent for you. You—not anyone else.”
“Katie, cut the bullshit. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit what everyone in Macon already knows.”
“Jeff—”
“I’ve always just been a poor substitute for Jake. He’s the one you’ve always wanted.”
“Once he was, but I was over that. I was over him. I was going to marry you. If you had stayed, I would have proved that to you.”
“Or you would have left me again.”
“Are you ever going to forgive me for breaking up with you? I told you that I did it for you, Jeff. I wanted you to find someone without a heart that was broken. I wanted you to find someone without baggage. I thought when we got back together and decided to get married, we were going to leave the past behind us and start fresh.
“That’s hard to do when your past shows up at our wedding—a wedding you called off without even consulting me.”
“That’s rich, Jeff, considering you not only left town, but you also refused to talk to me at all,” I whisper. I can feel the tears stinging my eyes. I hear the emotion in my voice that betrays them. I hate it, but I can’t stop it. I need Jeff with me. I need him to hold me and promise me that we’ll get through to the other side.
Because suddenly I’m feeling like I’m completely alone again.
He lets out an audible breath, but something about it just sounds final.
“Jeff…”
“Katie, I—”
“Just come home. Come home and we’ll work this out. I love you and you love me. The rest will sort itself out in time.”
“I think you need to stop fooling yourself. Hell, I need to stop lying to my own damn self. It’s time we both stop pretending.”
“I’m not pretending about anything,” I deny.
Jeff lets out a bitter laugh. “You know what the difference between us is, Katie?”
“Jeff—”
“I can admit that no matter how much you deny it, for you, it has always been Jake.”
“Jeff,” I exhale, misery welling up inside of me, not knowing what else to say.
“And for me, it has always been you. Just you.”
“Jeff, please—”
“And I tried. God, I tried.”
“You have to let me—”
“I tried so damn hard to be the man you wanted.”
“You still are, baby. I—”
“If you truly believe that, then you’re just lying to yourself, Katie. It doesn’t matter anymore, regardless.”
“I don’t understand,” I whisper, but God, I’m afraid I do.
“All loving you ever brought me was heartache, Katie Smith. I’m tired of picking up the pieces my brother keeps leaving you in. You’ll have to find someone else to lean on this time when he leaves, and make no mistake about it, my brother is just like our father. He will leave you, but I’m done. Loving you turned me into someone I never wanted to be.”