Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 95545 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95545 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
I suck my lower lip between my teeth and chew it thoughtfully.
I don’t know...am I?
I’ll admit that part of me is curious. It’s been more than sixteen years since I last saw her. And for most of that time, there has been nothing but silence. For all I know, she could be dead. I allow that notion to settle inside me before examining it more closely.
It would probably be easy to figure out. Hell, I could Google her and more than likely come away with enough information to satisfy the interest growing inside me.
Then again, maybe the best thing I can do is leave the past where it belongs.
In the past.
Why does this have to be so damn difficult?
“We could do a quick Facebook search and see if anything pops up,” Alyssa offers.
I suppose we could do that. Except the suggestion sends my belly into free fall. It’s a terrifying thought. I’m not used to feeling that kind of emotion pump through me. Everything inside screams to shut it down, so I don’t have to experience it.
“Colton?”
I blink and refocus on Alyssa’s concerned features. “Okay.”
Holy shit. Did I just say that?
I’m almost desperate to snatch the word out of the air. Instead, I remain silent, muscles coiled tight.
“Really?” Her brows rise as she carefully searches my expression as if she doesn’t quite believe me.
At the moment, I’m not sure if I believe me.
“Yeah,” I confirm with a grunt as a ball of nausea grows in the pit of my belly. Just because something turns up doesn’t mean I have to do anything about it. Best case scenario, what I find is enough to put all these unpleasant emotions scratching beneath the surface to rest once and for all. I want to move on with my life and stop allowing this woman to control my thoughts and feelings. Whether I want to admit it or not, that’s exactly what she’s done.
“You don’t have to do this,” she murmurs.
True. But I’ve come this far. Do I really want to back down now? Will I ever find the courage to do it again?
“I know.” It’s not like I want to, but part of me feels like I have to. In order to slay your dragons, don’t you have to face them head-on? And Candace is definitely a dragon that needs slaying. It’s the only way to free myself from her.
“Should we wait until tomorrow?” Alyssa asks, concern flaring in her eyes.
If I do that, I’ll probably find a reason not to go through with it. Scratch that, I’ll definitely find a reason.
Can you say—bauk, bauk, chicken?
As far as I’m concerned, it’s now or never. “Let’s just get it over with.”
Her hands slide from around my neck to my cheeks as she rises to her tiptoes before pressing her lips gently against mine. The moment I sink into the caress, she pulls back. “I’ll be right here with you, Colton. I’m not going anywhere.”
I jerk my head into a nod as she steps away. She has no idea how much comfort those words give me.
On legs that feel wooden, I walk across the room and grab my laptop from my backpack before settling on the queen-size mattress. Alyssa sits close enough for our shoulders and thighs to touch. Since her return from London, this is the first time she’s taken the initiative to be near me. Almost as if to punctuate that thought, her fingers settle on my thigh.
With a pounding heart, I fire up the computer. It takes a moment for the screen to come alive, and then I’m clicking on the internet icon. When my home screen pops up, my fingers hover over the keys before I force myself to type her full name into the search engine.
“Candace Radcliffe?”
“She never took my father’s name,” I mumble in response.
I stare at the letters until they blur in front of my eyes. My finger hovers over the Enter button. I don’t realize that air has become trapped in my lungs until they begin to burn. It’s only when little spots dance across my vision that I force it out again and stab the plastic key before I can talk myself out of it. A second later, a full page of information materializes on the screen.
My heart skips a beat when a colorful photograph pops up.
Alyssa’s fingers curl, biting into the flesh of my leg. I don’t think she’s aware of the grip she has on me. Her gaze stays fixated on the screen. But I’m grateful for it. The pain is the only thing that grounds me in the moment. Otherwise, I would float off into the atmosphere. It’s a disturbing thought. “Is that her?”
I scrutinize the picture in silence, absorbing every little detail. The blond hair that falls in soft waves around her shoulders. The delicate lines that bracket both her eyes and mouth. Even though sixteen years have slipped by, it’s strange to have this foreign photo replace the image of a younger-looking Candace in my mind. The one I’ve been carrying around with me since she walked out of my life.