Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 77354 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77354 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
There’s a huge non-negotiable boulder in the middle of our road together. Better that we know now than continue to speed along and crash headfirst later on.
“So that’s it?” he says. “Your mind is made up?”
“It’s not about me making up my mind. The evidence is all laid out—we’ve collected all the data. You have non-negotiables in your world. I have them in mine. And they don’t mesh.”
Sadness cloaks his face, and I wish I had the power to wash it away. I hate to see him hurting, but I can’t live by his rules. I wish I could.
“What can I do?” he asks.
I give a small shake of my head. “There’s nothing to be done.”
He closes his eyes as if he’s trying to shut out the pain. Even though it hurts that he hurts, there’s comfort in knowing he cares. That whatever we had between us was mutual.
“I’m going to miss you,” I say.
He opens his eyes and his expression is pleading. But I know I can’t soothe him. Not without losing everything that’s important to me.
The alarm on my phone sounds. Lunchtime is over.
“I have to go,” I say, and my voice breaks.
I take him in, one last vision I’ll always treasure—my first love. And I turn and leave.
THIRTY-FIVE
Bennett
I take a seat on the low rust-colored couches at Leo’s private members club. He’s sitting opposite me. Neither of us is talking.
I don’t have the energy to speak. Just existing takes everything I have at the moment.
The last three weeks without Efa have been some of the hardest of my life. Logically, it makes no sense. I’d never met the woman before the start of this summer. It’s been just weeks but I’m beginning to realize I’ve been forever altered by her. I wonder if I’ll ever actually get over not having her in my life.
All I see when I close my eyes is her standing in front of me outside the hotel, telling me she doesn’t want to be with me.
I take a sip of my drink and squeeze my eyes shut, not because I’m trying to stop thinking about her, but because I know it will be her that I see when I do.
“Hey,” Worth’s voice says from behind me.
I lift up my drink and nod. I don’t know why I came tonight. I’m not much company at the moment. But maybe that’s why I’m here.
“Oh god,” he says. “You two look pathetic.” He takes a seat next to me and gives his drink order to the waiter.
“Noted,” I say.
“Uncle Fisher’s here!” I turn to see Fisher heading over to us.
The club is quiet, probably because Leo insisted we have the entire floor to ourselves. Although ESPN is on, it’s muted. On our group chat, he said he never wants to see another woman again. I have to admit, it was the first time I’ve smiled for weeks. I’m not happy Leo’s miserable, but he’s had enough women to last him a lifetime. I doubt his abstinence will last long.
“It’s all going to be okay,” Fisher says. “Oh, and Byron’s not coming again. Something came up apparently.”
Hardly a surprise. I’m not sure what’s going on with Byron at the moment. I probably should have checked in with him, but there’s been so much going on this summer.
Jack appears from out of nowhere and it’s the five of us. “So what’s on the agenda tonight?” Jack asks.
Booze. Sleep. Misery.
I tip back my head, empty my glass, and slide it onto the table.
“Okay,” Worth says. “I’ll be in charge of the agenda. First, no driving home.”
I nod. That I can agree to. I can take a taxi back to the Mandarin Oriental, where I’ve been staying since I left The Avenue.
“Second, we’ll deal with Leo. Third, Bennett.”
“No,” I snap. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Worth doesn’t respond, just turns to Leo. “Okay, so how are things with you?”
“Great,” Leo deadpans. “The only woman I’ve let in and it hasn’t been all about sex uses me to get to my best friend. Life is peachy.”
I catch Jack’s wince. Worth pulls in a breath.
“That’s bullshit,” I say.
“What’s bullshit?” Leo asks.
“The part where you say you let the woman in.”
“She moved in, Bennett. She cooked me dinner and we—” He sighs. “Never mind.”
“That doesn’t mean you let her in.” I know because I let Efa in. More than anyone.
“Bennett’s right,” Worth says. “Just because she had her panties in the drawer next to yours doesn’t mean you were emotionally invested.”
“I don’t wear panties,” Leo snaps, and I can’t help but let out a laugh. A small smile curls around Leo’s mouth.
Worth rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“Look,” Leo says. “I like women—I’ve never tried to deny it. But I did think that Nadia might be… different.”
You’d know, you wouldn’t think. I don’t say it, because he doesn’t want to hear it from me. But he would have known if Nadia was special. It wouldn’t be in doubt.