Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77269 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77269 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
I gave Theo a sympathetic look as we walked in, watching as Mom disappeared back down the narrow hallway.
“Sorry, it’s always a little… tight in this house,” I said, glancing around the living room.
Cheeky, my mom’s big golden retriever, got off of his usual place on the living room couch and loped over to us, begging for pets.
“Oh, hello there,” Theo said.
“This is Cheeky. He’s seventy-five pounds of pure affection, and if you ever can’t find him, he’s asleep on the couch.”
“Cheeky,” he said, crouching down to give the dog some love. “You’re such a good boy, aren’t you?”
I was so used to the state of the house that I barely noticed it anymore, but bringing Theo over made me notice the wayward stacks of magazines and newspapers, boxes and boxes of quilting supplies that my mom had amassed, and the sheer amount of shelves and knickknacks in the room.
“It smells amazing in here,” Theo said. “Good God.”
“Oh, Mom’s probably making pie,” I said. “Her new obsession is pie. Cherry pie. Apple pie. Even pumpkin pie, no matter what time of the year it is. I’m sure she’ll push three slices into your hand later and make you tell her which one is the best.”
“Okay, you didn’t tell me you were taking me straight to heaven,” Theo said.
I walked down the narrow hallway and Theo followed. Mom was bent over the side of the tub in the bathroom that joined to her bedroom, her short brown hair tied up in a little ponytail. “Turtle, you tell me what you think needs to happen with this stripped screw, because—”
She turned around, her eyes landing somewhere behind me. She froze, staring at Theo for a solid five seconds in silence.
“Oh my God,” she said, reaching up to her hair and smoothing it out. “Wait, am I dreaming right now?”
“Mom, this is Theo,” I said. “I said I was going to call tonight and tell you all about my new bodyguard position. This is who I’m protecting.”
“You’re Theo Castille,” she said. “Holy fucking cheese whiz on a cracker, you are Theo Castille.”
“Guilty as charged,” he said, smiling.
It was the same thing he’d said when he’d been recognized at the farmer’s market earlier. I realized that Theo must have said this exact same thing, thousands of times, whenever he was recognized. There really was no good way to react when people just stood there, gawking in disbelief that you existed in real life.
“I was just watching one of your movies last week,” Mom said, her eyes so wide they looked like they might pop out of her head. “Ever since I saw you in Violet Fire last year, I’ve been such a fan. That interview you did on Ellen had me crying like a damn baby. Oh my God, you’re in my house! I don’t even have any makeup on!”
“Ma,” I said.
“No makeup necessary,” Theo said, still smiling politely. “I promise, I’m just here to hang out. You have a lovely home.”
“Well, it certainly is lovely with you here in it,” she said, and Theo stepped forward to give her a hug.
No big deal.
Just me, standing here in my mom’s bathroom, as she lost her mind from a man I’d kissed just a few days prior. A man whose life I was now protecting.
My world had gotten a lot more interesting since Theo had walked into it.
“Well, I’m Donna, and it’s a huge pleasure to meet you. Can I get you a tea? Coffee? Beer? I’m sure I have some sort of drinks and mixers in the cabinet, but I’m not much of a hard liquor girl myself.”
“I’d take a beer,” Theo said. “I’m sure as hell not going to be able to help Roman with fixing a shower, but I can drink and offer moral support.”
“I’ll have a beer, too,” I said. “I can probably fix this thing in about an hour.”
“Theo, come here, sweetie,” Mom said, leading him out of the bathroom. “Shit, Turtle, you’ve got to tell me ahead of time next time you’re bringing an Academy Award winner into my house. Oh, I hope you like pie.”
Theo was grinning wide. “Cherry pie is my all-time favorite.”
Mom flitted out of the bathroom back toward the kitchen.
“I’m sorry,” I mouthed to him. “You okay?”
“I’m good,” he said softly. “She’s so cute.”
“She’s a handful, and I love her,” I said. “She probably wants to show you about ten different quilts and six different pie recipes while I fix this. I did try to warn you about what you were getting into, coming here.”
“I will love every minute of it,” Theo said. “Go ahead, get started on the shower.”
It turned out the fix wasn’t quite as simple as I’d thought. I could hear the faint murmurs of Mom and Theo’s conversation, and as time passed, I heard more and more laughter floating in from the living room. They intermittently peeked back into the bathroom, checking on my progress.