Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
“So what if I do want you? I can have you. I could knock you out and fuck you back to life. I could tie you up and fuck you over and over until you begged for mercy.”
“You could, but you won’t.”
He was right. I might have the stomach to hurt him, to make him pay with pain, but I’d never mix sex with that. No matter how rough either of us liked it, that had been all play, and this would be real. Even if I didn’t care about him—I didn’t, did I? Why would I?—I knew breaking him like that would fuck me up, push me to a place I couldn’t come back from.
“You’re a fucking traitor.” The words spilled out of my mouth, and I wasn’t sure if I was reminding myself or insulting him.
All Matteo did was laugh. “You have no idea what I am.”
“You think it’s funny? That you betrayed me–us.” His grin told me he’d caught my slip. I could not make this about me. “I know what you did. That’s enough.”
“Are you going to kill me now? To avenge everyone. Except…oh right, no one actually died.”
“Just because you didn’t have the guts to kill any of us doesn’t make you a good person.”
He laughed again. “No, baby, nothing is going to make me a good person. So why don’t you just put to a stop to it all? Take me out right now.”
My stomach churned as I realized I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill him. I could fight him, especially if I undid his restraints, but kill him, watch the light drain from those fucking sparkling eyes? I couldn’t do it. What the fuck was wrong with me? “Why did you do it?”
The fucker grinned at me. “That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?”
“Tell me.”
“Or what?”
Red filled my vision.
I took a step back. I wasn’t going to let this happen. I wasn’t going to let him do this to me.
I kicked him in the gut. He grunted as the chair tipped and he hit the ground. I kicked the chair and it splintered. He strained, forcing the wood apart and freeing his hands.
Part of the chair still clung to him, but he had enough use of his body to come after me.
I ran at him, wanting to catch him off guard. He fell back into the wall and wavered, still groggy from the tranquilizer.
“Tell me why you did it.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you fucking can.” I squeezed his biceps and slammed him back against the wall. “Either confess or fucking fight.”
“Is there another option? There always was with you.”
“Do you seriously want me to kill you?”
He shrugged and that pain showed in his eyes again. “If you don’t, the cartel will. I failed here.”
“Why Matteo? Why did you join them?”
He shook his head and looked away as he worked at the ropes on his wrists, untying them and letting the remnants of the chair clatter to the floor. Finally, he said, “I can’t tell you.”
“If they’re going to kill you anyway, why do you care about protecting their fucking secrets?” And why did I care about the anguish in his eyes and the defeated slump of his shoulders? I wanted him defeated. I hated him. I had to.
“It’s my secret, Carter. Not the cartel’s. It was never about them.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” What secret did he have? We all knew what he’d done.
He stared at me, and I felt like he was trying to get me to understand something, to hear more in his words than he was saying. I pushed away and crossed the cell. I’d had enough of his games.
“You can fucking rot in here if you’re not going to talk.”
Matteo slid down the wall, pulled up his legs, and laid his head on his knees. “Fine. I don’t deserve a quick death anyway.”
Seeing him look defeated, no longer even trying to fight, made my chest tighten. It was supposed to feel good to have him at my mercy. I should be happy, but I felt sick.
I stepped out and locked the cell door as fast as I could, then ran to the tiny bathroom down the hall where I heaved again and again. It had been so long since I’d eaten that nothing came up but bile.
After I rinsed out my mouth, I headed for the door, but partway there I stopped, slammed my hand into the wall, and turned around, furious with myself. I was so weak I couldn’t even leave Matteo hungry.
I told myself I just needed him in decent shape to talk when I was ready to return and try again, but all I could think about was how fucking sad he looked. It had to be an act. If anyone else tried to pull that shit, I wouldn’t budge. I wouldn’t believe it. I knew what he was fucking capable of, and he was still working his magic on me.