Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Worth shrugged. “Stranger things have happened.”
“Like everything to do with my relationship with Matteo, none of it makes any sense. I thought we were just two horny guys needing some release. Well, I knew I felt more than that, but I ignored it.”
“That’s not strange at all. Why would you think anything would come of it?”
“I shouldn’t have. But it didn’t matter what I told myself, I kept falling, harder and harder and then…he was gone, and I almost died. If it hadn’t been for the three of you….”
“You would’ve pulled through, but you might’ve gone after him. You might’ve killed him before you had a chance to learn the truth.”
I shook my head. “I had my chance. If I’d wanted to kill him, I would have done it when we first captured him.”
Worth sighed. “You know I’m not the one you should be talking to about all this.”
“I know Ford or Miles might be better for this, but they’re so—”
Worth shook his head. “I don’t mean them. You should be talking to Matteo.”
“What? He’s not…I can’t tell him how I feel. It will just give him more to manipulate me with.”
“Listen to yourself. You just said—”
“Just because I’m in love with him doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.”
Worth narrowed his eyes. “Seriously?”
“There’s no way for me to know how he really feels. I can’t—”
“Do you trust him not to stab you in the back?”
“Physically? Yes.”
“Would you go into battle with him?”
I thought for a moment, but I already knew the answer. “Yes.”
“But you don’t trust him to love you?”
“Fuck. I don’t know.”
“I’ve seen the way that man looks at you, Carter. It’s the same way Miles looks at Ben.”
“Like he wants to eat me alive?”
Worth grinned. “Yes, and then carry you to bed and treat you like a princess.”
“I’m no one’s princess.”
“You might be Matteo’s.”
I shook my head. “That’s…. No, I can’t.” Why did the idea turn me on so fucking much? What was wrong with me? “You can’t tell me you have serious conversations like that with the men you’re fucking?”
Worth huffed. “That’s because I’m not in love with them.”
“It’s got to be your turn sometime.”
He shook his head. “I’m just not wired that way. I’m not capable of feeling like that, of wanting only one person, of….”
“Letting go that much?”
Worth shrugged.
“I think you’re capable of a hell of a lot more than you think.”
“My brother is the only person in my family who was blessed—or cursed depending on your viewpoint—with a romantic side. My parents’ marriage has never been more than a business arrangement, and my sister is cold as ice.”
I sighed. I wasn’t going to convince him, but I could still hope one day a man would come into his life who could show him what he was missing. “You like to hide it sometimes, but you have a kind heart, and it needs—”
“No. I’d rather play around. I enjoy my life like it is. I don’t want to be tied down. I don’t even want to be stuck here in the city. I don’t want to be…consumed like the rest of you.”
I held his gaze until he finally looked away. “If your turn comes, you won’t have a choice. It’s not like I wanted to fall in love with Matteo. I wanted anything but that. I still couldn’t ignore him. I couldn’t even take my eyes off him when he was close by.”
Worth frowned. “It’s hard to imagine you being unable to do anything. You’re so fucking capable.”
I huffed. “Not around Matteo.”
“Would you be if you just gave in to what you feel?”
I glared at him “Where the fuck did all this relationship wisdom come from if you aren’t capable of love?”
Worth laughed. “Probably too much time spent with Ford.”
Ford was the romantic of our group. Miles and I would have denied we could fall in love, though for different reasons. Of course, Ford hadn’t been so wise when it came to Jay.
Worth’s doorbell rang, and he smiled. “My evening entertainment is here.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Go back to Matteo and fucking talk to him. I wouldn’t have the strength, but you do.”
“You might surprise yourself one day.”
He caught my arm as I turned to go. “I think you should go talk to him, but if you’re not ready to be honest, it won’t work.”
I took a deep breath, and for once I didn’t push away any of the feelings that bloomed when I thought of Matteo. They weren’t going away. If Matteo shooting me hadn’t put an end to how I felt, nothing would.
It was time to give in. Sometimes that was all you could do until you could see your way out. I didn’t know if I’d ever seen my way out of this situation, but fighting it wasn’t fucking working. “I’m ready.”
“Then go get your man.”