Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
“Fuck, Laney. You’re supposed to be at school. What are you doing here?”
“Checking on my big brother because he’s not doing well, even if he won’t admit it.”
I sighed and waved my hand for her to come in.
Laney was short, but not quite as short as Pearl. She had long brown hair she usually kept in elaborate braids. Her big eyes, bright smile, and inviting personality meant I was always having to keep an eye out for her. Boys were constantly coming around when she was younger, and now I just got bits and pieces of what she was willing to tell me. Usually, it was me looking out for her. The idea that she’d come to check on me felt backwards and strange.
Walter wagged his tail and sniffed at her. She knelt, scratching him and sweet talking him while he tried to lick her mouth. “I heard about you, big boy! You are just so freaking cute, aren’t you? Yes you are! Yes you are!”
“Easy,” I said. “You’re going to inflate his ego. He already thinks he’s the shit.”
“Because you are, aren’t you?”
Walter was lapping up the attention. His tail and his butt were wagging and he kept doing tiptoes around Laney, tongue flicking out and eyes adoringly pointed up. She always seemed to charm animals, ever since we were kids.
“I wanted to make a good first impression,” she said to Walter. “So I brought you something.” She pulled out a hilariously large dog bone from her bag and handed it to Walter, who rushed off with it toward his dog bed. She smiled after him, then went to the counter and cracked open a beer, handing me one.
“Aren’t you going to have any?”
“No,” she said. “I have studying to do tonight. These are all for you.”
I grinned. “You think it’s going to take a whole six pack to get me to talk?”
“I came prepared for anything.”
We sat on the couch and shot the shit like old times for a while. Three beers later, I found myself opening up about everything. I told her the whole story again from the start. When I was finally done, I felt emptied out and hollow. I hadn’t told anyone the whole story, not even Damon or Pierce. It felt strangely good to let it all out.
“Okay,” Laney said, giving me a very serious look. “I’m going to say this as nicely as I can, Dean. You’re an idiot. A very sweet, very misguided idiot.”
I frowned. “I’m not an idiot. I’m a fucking hero.” I swallowed the last of my beer and grabbed another bottle.
Laney was clearly trying not to smile. “A hero? Yeah, you know. It makes more sense now. The fact that you think that, I mean. You’re over here patting yourself on the back for your grand sacrifice, aren’t you? The wounded warrior protecting his princess?”
“You're damn right I am. I did the right thing. The hard thing.”
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe it should’ve been Pearl’s choice?”
“What should’ve?” I asked.
“Whether she wanted to risk trusting you.”
Maybe it was the beers, but I wasn’t quite putting the dots together. Usually, I was smarter than this. “I’m not following.”
“Clearly.” Laney tucked her legs under herself, holding up her two index fingers and speaking slower like she was talking to a child. “This little piggy thinks it’s a bad piggy.” She wiggled her other finger. “This little piggy likes the bad piggy anyway. But the bad piggy pretended he doesn’t like her because he doesn’t want to hurt her.”
I squinted. “Did you just call me a pig?”
“Focus, you big idiot.”
I grinned, cutting her off. “Okay, okay. I get what you’re trying to say. I should’ve told Pearl how I felt and let her decide? Is that it?”
“Uh, yes?”
“No. You’re wrong. Because you don’t understand how we felt. We would’ve given it a shot if I did that. I would’ve been basically baiting her into it, even though I knew how it would end.”
“Do you know how it would end?”
“The same way it always does!” I said, setting my beer down with frustration. “You know me, Laney. You know what I do. I lose interest. I fuck it up. I always have and I always will.”
“Have you ever walked away from a woman you really cared about to spare her from you before?”
“No,” I said.
“Then you haven’t felt like this about a woman before. Which means you don’t know how this would end, stupid.”
“I know how it would probably end,” I said with a little less force.
“Knowing something will probably happen isn’t knowing.”
“What?”
“You screwed up, Dean. That’s all there is to it. You owe it to her to go tell her how you really feet. I doubt she’s going to change her mind about it now, but you owe her that much.”