The Big Fake Read Online Penelope Bloom

Categories Genre: Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
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“You doing alright?” Harper asked me once we’d worked our way through the taste tests for Lizzie. “I heard about last night.”

Steph snorted. “Whatever you heard wasn’t as embarrassing or awkward as the real thing. Trust me on that.”

I swatted at her. “Fine. Just a headache,” I said.

“Here,” Harper said. “Let me grab you something.”

A minute later, she came back with a steaming chunk of bread and a to-go cup filled with ice water. “Try to get these down. I doubt it’ll cure you, but it might help.”

“Thanks,” I said.

After Harper’s, we were on to the venue itself. Lizzie had given us a checklist of items to go over with Mom and Dad once we arrived. My mom gave me a painful look that said she was both ashamed of how I’d acted last night but sympathetic of my feelings enough to not bring it up. At least she wasn’t going to confront me about it on Lizzie’s wedding day. Small victories.

We ran through all the items, making sure the centerpieces on the tables were all the correct shades of cream and purple–not violet, which was a point Lizzie had been adamant about. We were told to spray the vine wall with water, which was odd, but we did it anyway. We even had to go to the nearby stables to make sure the owner of the farm where Lizzie’s wedding was being held would have his horses out of range for the ceremony.

I knew Lizzie had personally checked everything she could multiple times already, but she was going to be getting beautified and dolled up all morning, and we were acting as her proxies. I was fine with it. I loved my sister, even if I was usually a little jealous of her and sometimes found her constant perfection exhausting. I wanted her wedding to be amazing. For that reason, I felt extra shitty about how I’d acted last night.

I decided it was my one moment of weakness. I’d gotten that out of my system, and now I was going to act like a normal adult. I’d sit with Dean during the ceremony. I’d even dance with him after dinner, if it came to that. I’d play nice all day until Lizzie headed off with Jonas to end the night. After that, I could cut ties with Dean and call this whole mess finished. Sure, I was going to be thinking about him for God only knew how long, but at least all the questions would be settled. It would just be over, and that was for the best.

I ran into Curtis and Lane when I was heading back to the venue from the barn. Steph had headed back early while I waited for the farmer to show me where he was taking the horses so I could ensure it was far enough away.

Curtis was sprinkling flower petals on the grass around the perimeter of the area where the main tent and wedding arch had been set up. The original plan was to have everybody inside a big barn, but there was some kind of bat problem that called for a last-minute change of plans. Now we would all sit in a huge, gauzy white tent decked out with flowers that matched the purple and cream theme. Lizzie, Jonas, and the Priest would be situated under an elaborate but beautiful arch just in front of the tent at the end of a multi-colored pathway of fresh flower petals.

“You alright?” Curtis asked. “I ain’t seen someone get hammered that fast since Uncle Curtis made his first batch of homemade moonshine.”

“Well,” Lane said. “There was the time Grandpa Curtis hit Daddy Curtis with the hammer. I reckon that was textically a faster hammerin’.”

Curtis turned slowly, giving Lane a look. Then they both burst into hitching laughter, hands on their thighs.

I smiled at the two of them. My memories with Curtis and Lane went way back to family reunions out at their farm. They always made sure none of the other boys were too rough with me and treated me nice. I remembered they’d always sneak me into Grandpa Curtis’ garage and get me popsicles before all the other kids could have any.

“I’m okay,” I said. “It was just a rough night for me. And I’m still feeling it this morning.”

“Shee,” Lane said. His tone was solemn.

I still remembered the first time I’d heard them use that ridiculous word. The two of them had almost exclusively communicated with it at times. Depending on the inflection, it seemed like it could be a declaration of surprise, sorrow, agreement, or even disagreement. I was also fairly sure the two brothers had made it up themselves, because I hadn’t heard any of our other friends or family from Alabama use it.

“I should go,” I said. “I’m supposed to meet up with Dean so we can head to the ceremony together.”


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