The Big Fake Read Online Penelope Bloom

Categories Genre: Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
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Dean’s back was still to me, so I couldn’t see his face, but I pictured him thinking hard. “Green,” he said confidently.

“Correct! Miss Moreno. What would Mr. Slater say your favorite color is?”

I thought about the green dress I was wearing–the one Dean had picked out. Distantly, I wondered if maybe that was what actually made me think of green. Would he think I liked green, too? Or would he simply say green because it was the color I had on. Maybe that was the simplest answer. But… I thought of what I knew about Dean. He had a wicked streak, and I suddenly felt sure I knew the answer he would’ve put down.

I cleared my throat. “Pink,” I said.

“Wow! Great stuff! That’s correct.”

The crowd cheered for us and some laughed, probably at the idea of a manly man like Dean saying his favorite color was pink.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I was grinning, too. Pink, like the color of the thong he’d picked out for me. Perverted bastard.

“Okay, second question!” The host did her quieting gesture again and got everybody to quit clapping. “Mr. Slater. Most embarrassing moment? What do you think she put down?”

“Maybe the time I called her Sugar Bottom in front of her bosses?”

I wanted to smack my forehead. Damn it. I’d been so ready to embarrass him that I hadn’t considered simply pulling from the brief list of experiences we’d actually shared. Dean had hardly embarrassed himself, so I would’ve been working with a short list.

“Aww, too bad!” The host chuckled, clearly reading ahead. “Looks like she’s got much more of a whopper than that here. Miss Moreno wrote, ‘the time we were at a kid’s party together. You said ‘watch this!’ to the moms and ran to do a diving jump in the bounce house. The velcro on the net door caught on your pants, pulling them off along with your boxers. We saw everything.”

I covered my mouth, smiling despite knowing I’d just cost us a point. The crowd was howling with laughter, and I could feel Dean’s shoulder shaking behind me. At least he was a good sport and laughing, too.

“Oh, wow,” the host said. She gave Dean a look, then theatrically looked back to the crowd. “Anybody else wishing they were at the party?”

A few feminine whoops and cheers rang out from the crowd and I wanted to roll my eyes again.

“Alright, Miss Moreno. Any guess on what your man would say your most embarrassing moment together was?”

Based on his answer, I thought he would actually put a real moment. God knew I’d given him plenty to choose from. “When we first met,” I said. “I threw up on him.”

“Ding ding ding!” The host held up the card and waved it around. “That’s three points! If this lovely couple can get the next two right, they’ll be our winners and move on to the fun and games portion!”

“We’re killing it, Sugar Bottom!” Dean whispered over his shoulder.

“Hell yeah, Daddypums!”

I was smiling and Dean chuckled behind me. The competitive side of me was ready to temporarily call a truce with him if it meant winning. I had no idea if there was even a prize for winning, but Pearl, The Destroyer of Family Fun at Reunions, didn’t really need a reason to compete–she just needed people to defeat.

“When was the moment you knew he was the one? Mr. Slater! What do you think she said?”

“Our first kiss,” he said simply.

I felt a wave of cold goosebumps go across my skin. I didn’t know why, because the answer was an obvious guess in our situation.

“Correct! Miss Moreno, this one is for all the marbles. Get it right, and you two advance to the final round. Tell us, what do you think he put for the moment he knew?”

I considered the question. I hated to admit it, but I thought I knew Dean well enough to know he wouldn’t put the kiss down as his answer. No. That was too predictable for him. I took a deep breath and raised my voice. “When I threw up on him.”

“Wow!” Both hosts jumped up and pumped their fists in the air as the crowd cheered for us. “That’s correct! Ladies and gentlemen, what a close game! But we have our winners!”

Dean got up from his chair and helped me up from mine. He gave me a significant look as I took his hand, eyes sparkling with some mischief and unknown thoughts. “We kicked the shit out of them!” he whispered excitedly.

“Maybe we’re not such a bad team,” I said.

“Okay! Thank you so much, but you four can go back to your seats.” The hosts were escorting the others back to their seats so only Dean and I remained. “This last round will decide if you get the grand prize or the consolation prize. There are two games. The first is called the Pumping Popper. The second is Kiss ‘em Like You Mean It.”


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