Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 150968 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 150968 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
I feel hot — not with desire. Oh, no, no. I feel hot, with uneasiness and shame. My head spins, and I wobble away from Jasper. “You will never touch me again. The next time you dare do that again, I will break your arm. I swear.”
He raises his eyebrow in question, almost mockingly.
“You have an ego problem,” I hiss, fighting back enraged and panicked tears. “Truthfully, it doesn’t match that small dick of yours.”
His face turns red, the veins bulging at my words. Jasper takes a threatening step toward me, but I’m already swiveling around and heading out the door. His fingers brush against my bare arm, but he doesn’t get a chance to grab hold of me.
Disgust curdles through me, and the food that’s still in my stomach becomes unsettling. My belly twists painfully, as I search for my dad through blurred vision.
Someone grabs onto me, and I hear them asking if I’m okay. But I can’t answer.
I can’t…breathe.
Fighting back the dizziness, I reach forward blindly. Panic surges through me, and I can’t think. I can still feel his touch on my skin, the way he grabbed my breast and how he cupped me so shamelessly.
The devils on my shoulders are silent. But the voices around me…everything is too loud.
Help…
My stomach revolts and nausea builds.
My rapid heartbeat is accompanied with cold sweat and my body starts to shake. Hyperventilating, I call out weakly, but I don’t think anyone hears me. “Daddy…”
I let out a choked sob. “Help me, please.”
My full stomach roils again, and I fight the urge to gag. Tears slide down my cheeks, and my throat closes up. The lump grows heavier and heavier. The disgusting feeling of sickness surges through me, clawing under my flesh like a poisoned disease.
No, I should have purged everything I ate before. If I don’t…I’ll grow fat and ugly. People will see it. They will see how my stomach distends. They will see the rolls on my thighs. They will see…everything I’m trying to hide.
I won’t be pretty anymore.
No…
I need to be beautiful. I am my mother’s daughter.
I am powerful. I am my father’s daughter.
This is my value.
I need…
Oh God, I can’t.
I can’t…do this.
Jasper’s voice, Jenny’s taunts — the mocking and everything else fill my head. My ears echo with them, so loud, it’s almost deafening.
The world spins.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
My father grips my arm, and he’s shaking me.
Time slows.
“Riley! Riley, get a hold of yourself!”
Through a blur of faces, I see my mother staring at me. Her expression is shocked and disturbed, embarrassed.
Poised and confident. Calm, cool and collected — I am none of those.
That’s the last thought in my head before my stomach cramps so terribly, I hunch over. A pained sound escapes my lips, and then I’m retching all over my father’s shiny shoes.
Once the damn breaks, it doesn’t stop.
I can’t stop.
I’m sobbing. My mother is screeching in disgrace. I hear my father swearing.
The rose-tinted glass that has surrounded me since I was a child shatters. Inside, I am just a broken, hideous girl. I can’t hide behind the illusion that was Riley Johnson anymore.
Everyone sees the disastrous truth.
They see me.
Ugly and ruined. Completely wrecked.
My knees weaken and I fall to the ground, before my eyes roll back in my skull and the world goes black.
Complete, utter darkness surrounds me, dragging me into the abyss that’s been calling me for a long time now, but I’ve been fighting so hard against it.
I lost the battle.
I died in the war, my body disintegrating into nothingness.
And then…
Silence.
The next time I wake up, I hear voices around me. Familiar ones. My father and mother are arguing. I keep my eyes closed, barely hiding my wince as my head throbs painfully. It feels like I’ve been hit with a truck.
The memories of tonight assault me from all sides.
I still smell like vomit, and my mouth tastes bitter.
“How did you not know about this?” My father questions, his tone filled with accusations.
“You didn’t know either! Oh God, I can already see the subject of the tabloids tomorrow. This is going to be all over social media. You won’t be able to stop this or keep it hush, hush.”
My father growls and then I hear a glass shattering. “The public humiliation I had to face because of this stupid girl.”
“What are we going to do now?” My mother mutters. I sense her pacing back and forth, and I can almost imagine her wringing her hands in tension.
“I don’t want her anywhere near us. She needs to be gone. She’s sick!”
He wants me gone? What…does that mean?
Fear propels me to sit up, and dizziness swamps me. My father notices that I am awake, and his eyes — oh his eyes are dark and livid.
I lick my dry lips. “I’m sorry.” My voice is barely a whisper, but they hear it.